STAR WARS: EPISODE III
SPOILER ALERT!!!
I just saw it today for the first time. Good eye candy, and I enjoyed seeing the loose ends tied together, but overall I was left with the feeling of disappointment.
Why? you ask. WHY?!?
I'll tell you.
1.) There were a number of plot loopholes, chief among them Padme's death during childbirth.
In Return of the Jedi, Luke asks Leia about her real mother, not her adoptive mother, and Leia responds by saying that she remembers her as always being just a little sad. But, if Padme died in childbirth then why does Leia have very early childhood memories of her birth mother? If the history laid down in RotJ is to be accepted, then we must assume Padme somehow survived a few years after giving birth to the twins. At least two. But, toward the end of this film she dies minutes after giving birth, and naming her children.
From the officially sanctioned comic book series that takes place between episode IV and episode V, Darth Vader does not learn that he has a son until Luke tells him his name during a lightsaber battle in which the young Jedi lops off one of Vader's cybernetic hands.
Granted, the film had to move along at a brisk pace in order to tie up all the story ends leading to episode IV, but if they'd managed to work it so that Padme had left Anakin before learning she was pregnant, thereby securing in everybody's minds the established history that says Vader didn't know his wife had had children until meeting up with his son decades later, that would have worked out fine for my sense of story continuity.
2.) There is also the issue of how quickly the twins came to term. At the beginning of the film, when Padme announces she is pregnant, she barely shows. So the film must take place over the course of about nine months, assuming humans in the Star Wars galaxy have roughly the same gestation periods as humans in our own. If it doesn't, wouldn't it have been nice to explain the twins' rapid growth in the womb and Padme's lack of showing even in form-fitting outfits? And toward the end, when she confronts her husband with what she has learned, again she does not appear to be very far along. So how the hell does she manage to give birth to two fully formed twin babies without even growing a belly at all?
Of course, that death scene could have taken place months later, but that feasible gap in time between the film's climactic battle between Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi and its epilogue scenes went unacknowledged. For dramatic effect, the scene of Padme giving birth is intercut with the scene of Vader being transformed into a cyborg and encased in that black armor. But, Vader is still freshly maimed from his battle with Obi-Wan so this takes place probably hours after he burns.
3.) Final bitch-and-moan fest over Padme: Basically how her death ultimately plays out is she loses the will to live after her husband tries to kill her. What. The. FUCK. I mean, come ON! I am expected to believe that although she still loves her husband (her dying words professing that she still believes there is good in Anakin despite his crimes), and undoubtedly loves her children, she dies just because she's given up on life? PUKE!!! Lucas really could have done better with this whole subplot, and it is arguably the weakest in the film.
4.) The dialogue was crap. I'm sorry, but it is so fucking obvious that the actors were struggling against the dialogue that it was plain they were trying to suppress giggles while delivering their lines. "He's...killed YOUNGLINGS!" HURL!!!
5.) The scene with Yoda and Obi-Wan at the end, where the Jedi Master tells the younger man that Qui-Gon Jin (Obi-Wan's mentor) has returned in spirit form and is waiting for him on Tatooine to teach Kenobi the secret of immortality in the Force, that was just plain lame. So are we to believe that Yoda may well have caused the illness that took his own life, so he might join Obi-Wan as a spirit helping Luke in RotJ, but FAILED TO MAKE ANY APPEARANCE UNTIL THE END OF THE FILM?!? BARF-O-RAMA!!!
6.) They didn't make Jar Jar die like a bitch. 'Nuff said.
Like I said, overall the film was good eye candy and tied up the loose ends (even having Bail Organa ordering C-3PO's mind wiped so the droid wouldn't remember a thing by episode IV). And it did a good job of explaining the event that finally pushed Anakin fully over to the Dark Side. I especially liked Ian McDiarmand's turn as Palpatine in his true form, which I think was masterfully executed. Basically his true face is revealed when he uses his lightning blast against Mace Windu. I also liked the back story he provides his soon-to-be apprentice; this gives us a bit of insight into Palpatine's own history. Furthermore, the scenes showing the order being given that turns the clone troops against their Jedi leaders was definitely feasible. The entire Republic, particularly the Jedi Council, was blind to the gradual rise of the empire under Palpatine's machinations and even at the end only two had any real clue what was going on until it was too late and everyone else on the Council died as a result of their ignorance.
Still, what really made the film--for me--little more than a semi-fun time-killer was the plot loopholes and the dialogue so cheesy that I expected bottles of wine to be passed around.
I give the whole thing a C+.
SPOILER ALERT!!!
I just saw it today for the first time. Good eye candy, and I enjoyed seeing the loose ends tied together, but overall I was left with the feeling of disappointment.
Why? you ask. WHY?!?
I'll tell you.
1.) There were a number of plot loopholes, chief among them Padme's death during childbirth.
In Return of the Jedi, Luke asks Leia about her real mother, not her adoptive mother, and Leia responds by saying that she remembers her as always being just a little sad. But, if Padme died in childbirth then why does Leia have very early childhood memories of her birth mother? If the history laid down in RotJ is to be accepted, then we must assume Padme somehow survived a few years after giving birth to the twins. At least two. But, toward the end of this film she dies minutes after giving birth, and naming her children.
From the officially sanctioned comic book series that takes place between episode IV and episode V, Darth Vader does not learn that he has a son until Luke tells him his name during a lightsaber battle in which the young Jedi lops off one of Vader's cybernetic hands.
Granted, the film had to move along at a brisk pace in order to tie up all the story ends leading to episode IV, but if they'd managed to work it so that Padme had left Anakin before learning she was pregnant, thereby securing in everybody's minds the established history that says Vader didn't know his wife had had children until meeting up with his son decades later, that would have worked out fine for my sense of story continuity.
2.) There is also the issue of how quickly the twins came to term. At the beginning of the film, when Padme announces she is pregnant, she barely shows. So the film must take place over the course of about nine months, assuming humans in the Star Wars galaxy have roughly the same gestation periods as humans in our own. If it doesn't, wouldn't it have been nice to explain the twins' rapid growth in the womb and Padme's lack of showing even in form-fitting outfits? And toward the end, when she confronts her husband with what she has learned, again she does not appear to be very far along. So how the hell does she manage to give birth to two fully formed twin babies without even growing a belly at all?
Of course, that death scene could have taken place months later, but that feasible gap in time between the film's climactic battle between Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi and its epilogue scenes went unacknowledged. For dramatic effect, the scene of Padme giving birth is intercut with the scene of Vader being transformed into a cyborg and encased in that black armor. But, Vader is still freshly maimed from his battle with Obi-Wan so this takes place probably hours after he burns.
3.) Final bitch-and-moan fest over Padme: Basically how her death ultimately plays out is she loses the will to live after her husband tries to kill her. What. The. FUCK. I mean, come ON! I am expected to believe that although she still loves her husband (her dying words professing that she still believes there is good in Anakin despite his crimes), and undoubtedly loves her children, she dies just because she's given up on life? PUKE!!! Lucas really could have done better with this whole subplot, and it is arguably the weakest in the film.
4.) The dialogue was crap. I'm sorry, but it is so fucking obvious that the actors were struggling against the dialogue that it was plain they were trying to suppress giggles while delivering their lines. "He's...killed YOUNGLINGS!" HURL!!!
5.) The scene with Yoda and Obi-Wan at the end, where the Jedi Master tells the younger man that Qui-Gon Jin (Obi-Wan's mentor) has returned in spirit form and is waiting for him on Tatooine to teach Kenobi the secret of immortality in the Force, that was just plain lame. So are we to believe that Yoda may well have caused the illness that took his own life, so he might join Obi-Wan as a spirit helping Luke in RotJ, but FAILED TO MAKE ANY APPEARANCE UNTIL THE END OF THE FILM?!? BARF-O-RAMA!!!
6.) They didn't make Jar Jar die like a bitch. 'Nuff said.
Like I said, overall the film was good eye candy and tied up the loose ends (even having Bail Organa ordering C-3PO's mind wiped so the droid wouldn't remember a thing by episode IV). And it did a good job of explaining the event that finally pushed Anakin fully over to the Dark Side. I especially liked Ian McDiarmand's turn as Palpatine in his true form, which I think was masterfully executed. Basically his true face is revealed when he uses his lightning blast against Mace Windu. I also liked the back story he provides his soon-to-be apprentice; this gives us a bit of insight into Palpatine's own history. Furthermore, the scenes showing the order being given that turns the clone troops against their Jedi leaders was definitely feasible. The entire Republic, particularly the Jedi Council, was blind to the gradual rise of the empire under Palpatine's machinations and even at the end only two had any real clue what was going on until it was too late and everyone else on the Council died as a result of their ignorance.
Still, what really made the film--for me--little more than a semi-fun time-killer was the plot loopholes and the dialogue so cheesy that I expected bottles of wine to be passed around.
I give the whole thing a C+.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
As for the rest, well, your explanation for Yoda makes sense upon reflection but Luke grills Leia about her REAL mother, not her adoptive mother, giving the impression that Leia knew she was adopted..