Me, aged 10 at big bro's wedding.
Sometimes answers come from places we don't want to be.
My first indication that something was wrong with benni was when I read her myspace page, there were a couple of messages saying goodbye, that's when the adrenaline and sick feeling kicked in.
I came here and got the news from trocc, then I wept for benni, a sweet, ferociously intelligent girl that made me laugh often and then later feel deep sadness on so many occasions through her journals.
She was my first friend on this sight, and someone I would have loved to meet in person, which was something that never seemed impossible.
Then I started to wonder if I had any right to feel this sad about someone, who in truth I barely knew.
I got my answers April 28th, early saturday morning when my mother passed away aged 71.
I was holding her hand, my dad was holding her other and my brother stroked her hair as she drew her last breath in hospital.
Knowing what I know now, bennis death seems no less important. Like my mother, all the people who loved her have lost someone great, their lives are changed forever, there is less love and laughter of a kind that cannot be replaced because of their/our own individual uniqueness.
I will never question the way I feel when someone passes ever again.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
thejuanupsman:
I am so sorry to hear about this. Hope you are doing ok.
trocc:
it's few and far between that i hear anything from you these days, but i still feel like you know me pretty well, man. i hope you have yourself a copy of the new Adam Franklin album. i can't fucking get enough of it...
