what are dreams? to what degree should we follow them? what's the difference between a pipe dream and an actual heart's desire...how do you know? i don't know what i'm meant for...i don't know what things i long for are realistically pursuable. i don't know what's good for me. what is best and when do you know? do you ever? i'm indecisive by nature to begin with, self-doubt has been a long-time companion. i never know when it's right to trust myself. are my instincts correct? do i follow my head or my heart?
for that matter...love. when do you know when to give up, and how do you know it's time if it is? i have a hard time letting go of things, especially emotions. does my stubbornness make me stay when i should go? make me persist when i should release? when does self-sacrifice start creeping in under the guise of happiness? how can you tell if you're doing what's best for yourself?
so many questions...my head feels like it's aloft in the clouds that hang low. it's mild and dim outside, comforting. i wish spring would come. i wish i had a sense of security in my own convictions. i wish i could reach out my hand and touch something meaningful. stand alone in an open field, thunderclouds close enough to whisper to...lose myself in that electric humidity that makes me feel so alive. out of this fabric cage i'm held in...
and again i'm lost...what path do i follow, what meaning do i hold true? trace the lines before me, create new ones...branch out, contract. what's right i don't know. i watch from the shadows, and mostly i'm content there. contemplating and observing. i act when i feel the urge. a lot of the things i thought i knew i've found i don't...time to reconsider motivations and interactions. discover what is true.
i just hope i can hold myself lightly through this...gently move on with softness and permeability. float on, indeed.
for that matter...love. when do you know when to give up, and how do you know it's time if it is? i have a hard time letting go of things, especially emotions. does my stubbornness make me stay when i should go? make me persist when i should release? when does self-sacrifice start creeping in under the guise of happiness? how can you tell if you're doing what's best for yourself?
so many questions...my head feels like it's aloft in the clouds that hang low. it's mild and dim outside, comforting. i wish spring would come. i wish i had a sense of security in my own convictions. i wish i could reach out my hand and touch something meaningful. stand alone in an open field, thunderclouds close enough to whisper to...lose myself in that electric humidity that makes me feel so alive. out of this fabric cage i'm held in...
and again i'm lost...what path do i follow, what meaning do i hold true? trace the lines before me, create new ones...branch out, contract. what's right i don't know. i watch from the shadows, and mostly i'm content there. contemplating and observing. i act when i feel the urge. a lot of the things i thought i knew i've found i don't...time to reconsider motivations and interactions. discover what is true.
i just hope i can hold myself lightly through this...gently move on with softness and permeability. float on, indeed.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
shinracorp:
damn, you just described how im feeling to a T. i never seem to do anything for myself and im always weary of where to pick up things and drop them back off. when to do something and when to avoid them. dreams and emotions are ambiguous like that. i hate it. sometimes i wish i lived either in simpler times when your life was planned out for you or in a country with arranged jobs and marriages. they dont sound good to us because we enjoy freedom of sorts but but in a confusing world, order sounds like a nice dream. im def feeling where you are coming from, even if i went off on a tangent 
artemiswerewolf:
Well I don't mean now now. But maybe some SG summer event sometime. Maybe