aralia

Melissa on her journal asked about first times. And unlike most people, i told the whole, long, sordid story. So here you go: a duplicate post.

In my profile under the virginity question it says "twice", and the thing is, thats not actually a joke (although it is kinda funny).

So i was dating this guy, Keith. I was 17 (I think). We were out camping with a bunch of his friends--the kind of camping where you go out in the woods with tents and make a fire and smoke lots of bowls, not the kind where you actually hike or anything. We were in a sleeping bag on the grass. I had been feeling for a while that it was about time i was not a virgin anymore--it was way past the point of mattering, i just happened to have not had intercourse yet. (lots of yummy other sex though) So anyway. We didn't plan this and had no condoms which made me nervous. Keith asked his buddy for one, and the buddy suggested we use an empty pot bag. We did not. However, what with the icky pain and the no protection, we sorta aborted the mission.

So i asked a friend what does it mean if you have intercourse, but don't break your hymen--are you still a virgin? That friend asked another friend who asked the older people at the peer counseling place she volunteered at, and she came back with the answer that it was up to me. So, considering the general unsatisfactory nature of said event, i decided that i was, in fact, still a virgin.

About 2 weeks or so later, Keith and i were no longer an item and i went home with my friend Jeff after a concert. We spent till like 7 or 8 am making absolutely sure i wsn't a virgin anymore. The was *much* more like it, and i was glad to consider that my "real first".

There wasn't any pain the second time, which means my hymen was probably broken the first time around, i just didn't know it. However, since i had spent that in-between time thinking of myself as still a virgin, psychologically, it *felt* like my first.

So, i think of it as i lost my virgintiy twice. And now you know.