aralia

Just watched Donnie Darko for the third or fourth time. Compassion is the overriding message of that movie to me. When Donnie askes Frank about his eye, Frank has an opportunity to focus on his own pain. But he doesn't even comment on it; instead, he says "I'm sorry" for the pain he caused/will cause Donnie in the road scene. And eventually Donnie makes a choice, also completely overlooking any personal suffering in light of his compassion for the other people who would be affected. It's not a matter of putting "his loved ones" first: the people whom he loves and those whom he outright dislikes benefit from his selfless choice equally.

So i feel the weird-but-not-bad that that movie always leaves me with. I was thinking of Jason the whole time i was watching it (i miss him).

Earlier i told one of my housemates that i feel most comfortable when i know that there aren't going to be any "surprises" when i am at home (meaning people i don't know walking around the house), and that if he could ask his friends to knock when they come over i would appreciate it. I realized later that he probably thought i meant, like, knock and then stand outside waiting for someone to come answer the door, which i did not mean: i just would appreciate for guests to knock on the door and say "hello?" when they come into the house. The other day, when i was the only person home, i walked out of my second floor bathroom to confront a strange man right outside the bathroom door. He did not even introduce himself to me, i had to ask who he was. He said "Oh, i'm a friend of Josh's" as though that explained everything. We are having a house meeting soon and i will make my needs as clear as i can on this: I need to know that if i am walking around my house, everyone in it is known and accounted for. Otherwise, i have a hard time feeling safe. And feeling safe at home is very important to me.

So there's your blah blah blah for the day. Who actually reads this shit?