Cure: Japanese Whispers
wearing: black jeans, black hello kitty t-shirt over fishnet shirt, black sparkly jean jacket
dynamic dichotomy of inspiration and despair. The future sometimes looks so bleak: just year after year of the same old thing. I can definitely think of some things i could use right now: a good multi-vitamin; a really rejuvenating ritual; a reorienting psychedelic trip; true relaxation, not just lying down or whatnot, but the kind of relaxation i get from a week at the yoga center, when the natural rest state of my face is a big wide smile; a good session of submissive bondage. not sex, surprisingly enough; i think that even a fantastic orgasm would leave me feeling a big fat "so what" right now. Hard to imagine
but that is how empty my heart, mind, and soul feel.
Writing paper on Alex Grey is inspirational. Reminds me of things worth paying attention to. Later i will have to make sure i am writing something that is a term paper and not just a prayer.
I have more to write, i just don't know what it might be right now. I am tired, and i have many many pages still to go. Back to work with me--i will add more here later.
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update, 1:45 a.m.: three pages, six if i double-space. Not much in complete sentences though. brain maybe at about 75% capacity--fuzzy but still truckin' along.
1:59 a.m.: on second thought, i am going to sleep. This all-nighter thing never works for me. I have been staring stupidly at the screed for most of the past ten minutes. Better to sleep and try again tomorrow. I just hope that the little bit of coffee i drank has no effect on me.
be well
-Aralia
wearing: black jeans, black hello kitty t-shirt over fishnet shirt, black sparkly jean jacket
dynamic dichotomy of inspiration and despair. The future sometimes looks so bleak: just year after year of the same old thing. I can definitely think of some things i could use right now: a good multi-vitamin; a really rejuvenating ritual; a reorienting psychedelic trip; true relaxation, not just lying down or whatnot, but the kind of relaxation i get from a week at the yoga center, when the natural rest state of my face is a big wide smile; a good session of submissive bondage. not sex, surprisingly enough; i think that even a fantastic orgasm would leave me feeling a big fat "so what" right now. Hard to imagine
but that is how empty my heart, mind, and soul feel.
Writing paper on Alex Grey is inspirational. Reminds me of things worth paying attention to. Later i will have to make sure i am writing something that is a term paper and not just a prayer.
I have more to write, i just don't know what it might be right now. I am tired, and i have many many pages still to go. Back to work with me--i will add more here later.
------------------------------------------------------------
update, 1:45 a.m.: three pages, six if i double-space. Not much in complete sentences though. brain maybe at about 75% capacity--fuzzy but still truckin' along.
1:59 a.m.: on second thought, i am going to sleep. This all-nighter thing never works for me. I have been staring stupidly at the screed for most of the past ten minutes. Better to sleep and try again tomorrow. I just hope that the little bit of coffee i drank has no effect on me.
be well
-Aralia
you mean the natural state of your face isn't a big smile now? you do need the rejuvenation program... get yourself to the right state of mind, then enjoy the intensity and pleasure of the fantastic orgasm. when done properly and in the right frame of mind, nothing in life is better. sorry to hear you're feeling the emptiness. you need to do something about that, trust me it's not a good thing to run on empty for a long period of time.......