I recieved an e-mail today for a job which I did not apply for, nor have any experience in - for pay that is unheard of in the industry.
I give you the e-mail:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Hello Aupair,
I am Marvin Anderson from the United Kingdom (England) am 38 years of age i have two lovely kids, Austin and Margaret there ages are and 2 and 4, i will want a very nice and experience nanny to be taking good care of them for me.
I am a single father and a very busy person ever since the divorce between i and their mother and they have been staying with my mother since then in which i will like them to be staying with me because i have really missed them and i work very late.
I am doing this cos i want to be able to see my kids when ever am back from the office, i will be paying you 600 pounds per week and you don't have to worry about where to stay cos you will be staying with us in my house, i live alone in a very big house, please let me know if this is ok by you, Please reply me asap.
I Will be waiting for your quick response.
Warmest Regards
Marvin
And my kind hearted reply:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Dear Marvin,
I would love to be an au pair for your family. Your rates seem reasonable, but I do have a couple standard things I always ask the family for which I au pair. These are as follows:
1. I must be allowed to cook the youngest of the children and make a stew for the rest of the family.
2. I must be have weekends off entirely as I spend weekends pleasuring myself.
3. I don't do dishes.
4. During the evenings, I pleasure men and women for extra money, and they must have full access to my bedroom while I am staying with you.
5. I reserve the right to tell your kids to fuck off if I'm not in the mood to play with them.
6. My pet tarantulas must be given free reign of the house.
7. When my mother comes to visit, you must tell her that the stew is vegetarian.
8. I also don't load dishwashers.
9. I enjoy watching water sport porno very loudly in my room, so I will need an HD widescreen TV and blueray player.
10. I don't dry the dishes, either.
Thank you for your interest in me as an aupair. I hope to hear from you soon in regards to the position.
In the future, please check the e-mail address you are sending things to.
Thanks,
Jess.
