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arachnea

Toronto - now Oshawa

Member Since 2008

Followers 180 Following 190

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Wednesday Jan 28, 2009

Jan 28, 2009
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Thank you to those who offered their best wishes in our families time of grieving.

I've decided to think about things that make me happy - and something that makes me happy is posting random ads on Craigslist that help me through the boredom. Mneylu and I used to have fun with it back in the day, so I thought I would post something whimsical and see what happened.

Here's the ad (which I thought was obvious enough that it was a joke), have a read:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


Wanted:

Geeky male aged 22-45 for some intimate encounter fun.

Must be:

Able to fix my computer after I've downloaded viruses from looking at bisexual porno on those late and lonely nights.

Must know how to talk dirty in binary code. 10 types of people in the world and all that.

Must have an avid knowledge of MMORPG for late night WoW flirting.

Must be willing to role-play in bed and not just on Sunday nights in your friends basement with your collection of several hundred types of dice that you never use, but like to have just in case.

Have different names you wish to be called by. In fact, I would love to scream out your internet username in bed, rather than your actual name.

Must love watching old episodes of sci-fi shows in bed after sex. Or during. Actually, let's act out some of your favourite scenes.

Have some form of t-shirt referencing Cthulhu, Pirates/Ninja's, Chuck Norris, Mario Characters, etc.

Me:

Well educated, 5'4" redhead who needs to be tamed by the geek in you. Will dress up like slave Leia.



And here are some of the responses I've been getting:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


"thats right , i am a network admin , i am the guy who can clear out all the viruses n pop ups that have been stored in ur pc cuz u've been doing the same thing as i do, pornology..."

> Pornology you say?

"SWM 28 from Toronto. I can fix your computer no problem and then we'll work on fixing your own hardcore and software. I have the dirtiest binary talk you've ever heard and a master at RPG. You can dress up as any female sci-fi character and we and role play our own alternated version of the original, what do you say?"

> haha. No.

"Get a life you syyyccccoooo"

>Sage advice. Thanks. Go back to elementary school.

"Well ok i love role playing! LoL even Dungeons & Dragons! lol ok ya i know i'm a uber nerd!
My internet user name? U remember that old move hackers? wink The Names Z3R0WC00L wink Gonna get that inked on my left bicep soon!
I love sci-fi flicks they kinda scare me so ya if your with me i'm down lets rock wink"

>Sci-fi scares you? Who says that?

"I don't fit the profile you seek but very funny post. Nanu nanu"

>Haha...awesomeness.

"You are completely crazy.......scream out your user name?????
Sounds pretty fucked up!!!!"

>Yes. I am fucked up. Hence the post. Dur. Catch up.

"I gave x-box 360's away for Christmas and was disappointed that my "grown-up" friends didn't appreciate the awesomeness of that. I do very little role play when it comes to WoW, however anyone who is not aware of the super-awesomeness of dragons, ninjas and lasers, (either alone or in various, thrilling combinations,) is a complete moron.


I actually received the Chuck Norris book of fake facts for Christmas. I kid you not. Excerpts include:
"When Chuck Norris does push ups, he is actually pushing the earth away from himself."
"Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it has its own penis. Chuck Norris' penis' penis is bigger than your penis."
"Chuck Norris can make a woman cum simply by pointing his finger at her and yelling, "BOOyah!""
"Chuck Norris once ate three 72 ounce steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes of that hour having sex with his waitress."
"Chuck Norris once created a rock that even he, Chuck Norris, couldn't lift. Then he went ahead and lifted that rock just to show everyone who the fuck Chuck Norris is!"

>You gave away 360's for Yule? I want to be on your shopping list next year. Dude.

"I wish I were your derivative......so I could lie tangent to your curves. I'm too amused not to reply to this one. Quid novis?"

>Snorffl.

"Would slay The Lich King himself for time with a lady as geekily enchanting as yourself. Viral deletion is my specialty. I use a sword. Talk dirty in binary code? Pfff, try ascii, it's much hotter."

>I'm geekily enchanting. Awesomeness.

"/wave

Let's pwn some murlocks off the coast of southshore, and after I can enchant your gear and maybe your heart =]
Allow me to put on my robe and wizard hat before we begin any roleplaying please.

/bye"

>Haha....does anyone remember when I posted my robe and wizard hat chat posts? This guy seems legit. haha.

"on WOW what relam you play and name???"

>Calm down little dude. Breathe.

"Heh. You're funny. wink"

>Why thank you. Its been my secret goal to be a comedian for a long while.

"That is either the most awesome ad ever, or the most blatant attempt at getting the attention of hundreds of desperate geeks so you can mock them in your cruel, cruel world...which is it? =O

If it's the former, then I want to have your babies immediately. By which I mean, do the baby making process without babies popping out in 9 months. You know, do the hanky panky. Have sexy time. Insert my penis in your vagina."

>Can't it be both?

"they call me supermario would you like to find out"

>You're an old Italian stereotype cartoon who always wears a janitorial uniform? Oh baby.

"Totally awesome post. Even though I'm slightly skeptical that this post is some sort of elaborate hoax (even it it is I'm sure you will get some equally entertaining responses), the inner geek in me just can't help but reply even if just for shits n' giggles."

>You have noooo idea.

"Pardon for the bluntness but, good god if this isn't a joke, you just might be the greatest girl in the world."

>Haha. My husband would beg to differ, I know. But he loves me anyways. biggrin

"You don't really exist. It's all just a figment of my imagination."

>Haha. And you're a figment of mine. Says the schizophrenic geek.

"I'm sure you have a million suitors already, but was your post serious in any way? If you're as geeky as you seem to be, you'd have no reason for someone else to fix your computer because a) you could do it yourself and b) you wouldn't get infected in the first place. Something just doesn't sit right, here. But hey, bisexual porn. Wanna stick something up my butt?"

>Ahahaha. *snort*

"Disturbingly, I think I'm not nerdy enough for you. And I gave up WoW after Burning Crusade because it was ruining my life. However, I wanted to /high-five you for your post. You are clearly awesome."

>Yes, I am awesome.

"ummm.....


...marry me!"

>Already got a ring wink But thanks!

There's tons more, but I'll leave it here for now.



Show my post some "best of craigslist" love
http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/cas/1010851547.html

Love you guys!

VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
zigs:
you're brilliant and beautiful! I LOVE this! Funny, you are! biggrin kiss
Feb 2, 2009
lockeblade:
Haha ok ok, a successful negotiation. Your call and email/letter quota have been increased. I do spend quite a lot of time in SG chat with a webcam on though, so if you were dedicated you could always stalk that tongue
Feb 2, 2009

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