ara

Hello Sonia. Oh, your sadness is loud; the human condition is very upsetting. So sorry you have to know it; know it so well and often. Possibly it is not proper to say, but I may be able to somewhat feel a thing you feel due to my uncle about to die from cancer. I talked to him on the phone the other day and he sounds more confident about life than I am although he is very aware that it is a fleeting reality for him. Seems odd, but actually makes beautiful sense. I think death and cancer is primarily more woeful for the family of the death and illness, for you; and the tears of the person with the illness is mainly for you, Sonia. Of course they have sorrow for themselves, but diiferently, they are really sad because they know you are hurting. It is more difficult for you than it is for them; you may be thinking about me saying that- "how can he write a thing so audacious (well, maybe you are not thinking audacious; how about bold?); he does not know from what particular origin a human's suffering stems?." Yes, it is a bit of a generalization, and yes, every human is so independently complex; what I am saying is that I have often been surprised by that sentiment of a person dying of which I spoke. Of course, they are often sad to leave the people they love to see. Who would not be dejected at leaving the soft big eyes and beautiful apple flesh of Sonia's? I am just saying that when one is facing a thing that dire personally there is a normally hidden mechanism that surfaces and endows one with a completely different perspective on their leaving. You must be the one who must learn how to live, and enjoy again, anew, everytime you have become harshly awakened to mortality which exposes you to the fragility of all life. It is healthy to be sad. Be sad, but understand that their sadness is for you as much as yours is for them. And that is what is so different and beautiful about people; well, beautiful people like you, Sonia. Cry, sweetie, cry.
Samer H. A.,
who you know as
fascistprincess, and
Asad.



[Edited on Apr 12, 2004 9:16AM]

hey sweetness...

sent you an email...

sorry about all of this



~Murder Tramp