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aprioriangelo

North Carolina

Member Since 2004

Followers 14 Following 34

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Saturday Aug 27, 2005

Aug 27, 2005
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Specifics:

1. I never saw it coming.
2. She did it via email.
3. I'm not mad at all, just disappointed and heartbroken.
4. I have the best friends in the world. Hands down.
5. My school year is not starting the way I expected it to. An interesting plot twist in the teen soap opera that is my life.
6. I should probably be in bed right now.
7. I broke my own rule last night. After pretending I wasn't upset all day and partying with new friends until the wee hours of the morning, I hooked up with one of my best friends. I'm pretty sure the rest of our friends can't find out about this. She's kind of a predatory girl, and I know that they would tell me that she used me because of my mental state of last night. Good. I needed to be used. It feels wonderful to have done something absolutely against my character.
8. She has a lot of really personal stuff that belongs to me, and I don't know if I can actually face her right now, much less ask for it back.
9. The email gave no indication as to why it's over. Nor do I really care. I'm perhaps most surprised by my apathy at what went wrong. I gave all my heart for a very long time, and if it didn't work out, it didn't work out. We can't win them all. All that is important is that it's over.
10. I refuse to be an emo kid about this. Life goes on. I am loved more than any human being deserves to be by my friends. But I think my heart needs a bit of a rest.
11. The BEDlight for BlueEYES CD is amazing. I can't wait to see them on the 31st. I also finally bought the old Soul Coughing, El Oso. Mike Doughty is coming to the area pretty soon as well. I think I should go see him as well. Classes start Tuesday.
12. New rule, since the Don't Hook Up With Your Friends one is out the window: don't try to predict what happens next. Don't plan ahead. I will never regret a single moment that I am alive and capable of love. Even without the illusion of control, I still exist. Tomorrow is another day. And I'll still check my email.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
phelonie:
you should update more often...

its hard to stalk someone who never updates...
Sep 18, 2005
phelonie:
yay!
Sep 19, 2005

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