Ever since the absolute shit show of 2019, I've been intrigued to see what's coming next. Sort of like watching a horrific reality show where everything is up in the air, and anyone will have a Xanax meltdown at ANY minor inconvenience. Truly is an abundance of "what's next" in this escape room-style world, (followed closely by mass hysteria and inadequate coping mechanisms). However, I'm darn sure that none of us were waiting for this.
Aliens. Well, not really, but "nonhuman biomaterial", which I'm pretty sure could describe anything... nonhuman. Granted, I'm not a Prominent government figure or scientist. (Shit, I barely dragged my hormone-riddled brain to science enough to pass by sheer luck, if I'm honest.) But, I'm not sure if what could essentially be someone's taco bell that was by the "craft" site, could or would identify as an alien. The craft, disappointingly did not resemble the monstrosity from "Independence Day", the ever-excellent death star, or even the slightly coy-shaped ufo from "Mars attacks". Nay, we have a giant tic tac. I'm even willing to bet it's the sad white tic-tacs as opposed to the delicious orange ones.
So, yeah, these last four years have been a bit of a letdown. I mean, I wasn't expecting anything out of this world, but it's like being promised amazing pizza and getting something homemade that's just okay. Ya know? And I have questions now. Many, many questions.
Are they paying rent? Will they lower the rent? Are they smashable? Don't judge me, we're all thinking it. Grass, cash, or ass, you all know the rules. Are they hiding or are they just out here being NPCs? Can they help us out with the interdimensional travel, I feel Cthulu's time is right about ready to get here. Are we still calling them aliens or is there a better term, and now I'm fully canceled? We'll find out next week on: "shit show earth edition."
Hey there, chin up! The future might hold something slightly more interesting than this text, but for now, at least you've got me to keep you company. Laughter guaranteed or your money back! (Oh wait, you didn't pay anything for this. Never mind.)
Love ya!
