apostrophenow

Hey Hey!

Every time I go to the doctor I get bad news.

I was informed that I have a liver enzyme imbalance, making me a type 2 diabetic as well as a candidate for autoimmune hepatitus.

On the bright side, I have a permanent seat on the government disability gravy train.

I ordered one of these: Debut III - to cheer myself up.

Hanging with my friends and accomplices while stone-cold sober is a tedious affair.

People have been commenting to me daily about how much more personable and funny I am now that I've cleaned up from the drugs and the booze. People are stupid.

I tried Yoga last week. It hurt; I didn't realize how much time you spend with your face inches from the floor....
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ah well, I hate to admit it, but... clean livin' agrees with me.

I gave up drinkin'. I gave up red meat. I started working out at a gym.

I actually feel... kind of good.

I can put the past away (maybe I'll bring it out again to piss me off for special occasions).

Haven't slept in about, let's see, 38 hours.

Facial hair...

on a woman... like we say, down at the river, "It ain't no thang"

Now, facial hair...

on a woman... and the woman... is your court-appointed public defender...

it's a sign...

a sign we're goin' outta business.

Ohhh shit. I need a vacation from myself.

A well air-conditioned padded cell would suffice. They could look after me with a watering pail, like a geranium.

The later it gets, the more paranoid and defensive I become. By 3AM I'm ready to bust a cap in someone.

A valuable luxury of living in the middle of nowhere is that I can step outside and...
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Hey now!

I went to the doctor today.

I was informed I have a total cholesterol number of 315 (Bad).

It was suggested that I give up drinking alcohol and eating red meat.

What's new with you guys?

Cue : background music

I woke up. Too early.

I've seen many sunrises in my lifetime, which is an accomplishment, because I'm not a morning person. I am strictly anti-morning. In my mind, I equate rising early in the morning with travelling.

The thought of travelling makes me... ah, what's the word I'm looking for; pensive?

A while back, for no particular reason, I turned...
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hm. this was a mistake.

Well now, it looks like I won't have to go under the knife for that hernia after all.

As it turns out, I don't have a hernia. I've been informed that I have a "renal calculi", otherwise known as a kidney stone.

In addition to that, I also have a "fatty liver". What the hell is that, you ask? It's a disease that occurs in...
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