apostrophenow

I went walking down the road the other day, which was a bad idea to begin with. I noticed a little stray dog following me at a distance. Dogs like me, I have no idea why. However, I'm wary of small animals stalking me ever since that awful rabbit mauling incident when I was a kid. The further along I strolled, the closer the dog got. Finally, I could see the thing's shadow practically nipping at mine. I stopped and turned to face it. No one gets the drop on me, dammit.

I was fully prepared to wrestle the dog to the death, but it sat down, tail wagging, and looked up at me stupidly. I tried rearing up suddenly, grizzly style, waving my arms wildly and letting out a tremendous "rrrrraaaaarrrggghh!" But the mutt just started running around excitedly in a tight circle, as if we were playing a game. I paused, looked around to make sure no one was spying on us, and then I began jumping up and down in place, shouting "hey! hey! hey!"

The dog began methodically darting back and forth in the road, seemingly in time with my leaps. We were out of control, me amped on eight espressos, and the little stray dog frolicking on a deserted country road with a weirdo. I saw a chance to actually jump over the dog. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but the next thing I knew I was leaping in the air and the dog was courageously running beneath me. We did this for about five minutes. Then I stopped. The dog stopped. The air was cold and still. There was an odd, awkward silence. We stared at each other for about a minute. I started walking down the road again.

The dog ran the opposite direction. I looked back and caught a brief glimpse of it before it disappeared around the bend. Perhaps that dog was searching for a heart of gold.