Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

aponia

New Jersey born and raised!

Member Since 2004

Followers 49 Following 63

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday Sep 19, 2005

Sep 18, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
I'm home again. Waiting for the boy to get home from checking in on work. Then back to NJ.

My mom's doctor wants her to meet with one last suregon from UPenn. If anyone can operate and remove her tumor and could patch her up, it would be him. Their biggest concern is the fact that she's really weak. There's a very good possibility that she would not survive the surgery. If the surgery can't be done, then all they can give her is how much time they think she has left.
I found this all out by calling my dad this morning. He thanked me for spending so much time with her. I just think there's nothing more important then loved ones, and if it means putting my own life on hold for a little while, then so be it. My mom is my focus right now.

I hate the waiting. I hate not knowing whats going on, or how long we have, or how much her cancer has spread. We're just kept in the dark most of the time. So I'm looking at my mom, not knowing if i have two days or two weeks left with her. I know its terminal, because the term "quality of life" is being thrown around, but I just wish I had more of a calendar. Every night I go home I get a lump in my throat. I live in fear of my cellphone.

Again...every comment, every word, is more strength. I honestly can't even describe what it all means to me. I would not have he strength to deal with all of this without all of you. Whenever I want to cry and hide at home I read my comments and I realize no matter how much I want to run away I can't...its a hard thing to face, but I know its the right thing to do. I have love and support behind me.

I need to go get ready for the drive home. I love you all.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
kay:
*hug*

~cheers
Sep 19, 2005
dirtyprettything:
hang in there - i'm still thinking about you.

kiss kiss
Sep 19, 2005

More Blogs

  • 10.24.06
    5

    Wednesday Oct 25, 2006

    A year ago today my mom died. I got the call around 10pm. A medicati…
  • 10.19.06
    4

    Thursday Oct 19, 2006

    Since I'm way too tired to write anything near a real post... I di…
  • 10.11.06
    6

    Wednesday Oct 11, 2006

    Ok. So my secret obsession is Project Runway. I'm like insanely ob…
  • 10.09.06
    3

    Monday Oct 09, 2006

    I think my interest in SG is officially waning. All the cool kids lef…
  • 10.01.06
    2

    Sunday Oct 01, 2006

    God...my posting seems to have become few and far between. I've been …
  • 09.25.06
    8

    Monday Sep 25, 2006

    Philadelphia has fallen in line after such cities as LA and NY and pa…
  • 09.20.06
    6

    Wednesday Sep 20, 2006

    Aawwww yeah... Guess who bought the new Martha Stewart Living and …
  • 09.15.06
    7

    Friday Sep 15, 2006

    Free Dog! I'm so upset about the whole Duane "Dog" Chapman thing! …
  • 09.10.06
    5

    Sunday Sep 10, 2006

    So so so....a new week. Ok...so...news. I start a new job tomorrow. …
  • 09.05.06
    3

    Tuesday Sep 05, 2006

    Read More

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
8
months
25
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,123,049 followers
  • 14,912,246 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,371,591 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo