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aponia

New Jersey born and raised!

Member Since 2004

Followers 49 Following 63

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Wednesday Jul 06, 2005

Jul 6, 2005
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Hello everyone.

I'm still not really up to talking, but its funny, I feel very lonely right now. I'm at work, and I can't stand it. I want to be with loved ones, I want to be talking and hugging my friends. Not left alone at my desk with my thoughts.
I want someone to hold my hand and rub the top of it. I want to have the back of my head and neck scratched. I want to be hugged and cuddled. All those intimate things that you need when feeling so low.

So if anyone wants to come hold my hand your very welcome to.

I tried calling my mom numerous times this morning. Every time I call she seems to be getting poked and proded. I tried to not let my brain get ahead of itself. I'm not help to anyone if I'm constantly paniced and hysterical.
I just don't like the fact that she's on oxygen, or in a hospital, even though she says she's happy there. I just have bad feelings about this all around. Everything is pointing towards a chatastrophic even, and I can't handle that right now.

I wish I had happier things to report. Its hard to focus on that right now. I'm going to knitting circle tonight, but thats not even making me feel better. I try so hard not to be a pessimistic person, but it jsut seems like an uphill battle at times.

...yeah...holding hands would be nice right now...
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
fieldofdepth:
Yeah we had so much fun. My girl took that pic in the elevator of the hotel. I don't know why there was a mirror in there but it was fun. Only one more day till we get to see Maragret Cho at the SLO pride!!
Jul 7, 2005
fieldofdepth:
That is so awesome!
We saw her last year at the Punch Line in SF. It was a really small venue. We sat so close to that I actually had my feet on the stage at one point. After it was over and she was walking off the stage I bowed to her like "were not worthy" from waynes world and she did it back to me!!! I almost pee'd myself! I would love to read that letter.
Jul 7, 2005

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