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aponia

New Jersey born and raised!

Member Since 2004

Followers 49 Following 63

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Wednesday Jun 08, 2005

Jun 8, 2005
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I have cramps. I feel like someone is using my uterus for bongos.
Ugh.

I'm very sad to hear about Anne Bancroft. I've always liked her. 84 Charing Cross Road always sticks out in my head. Along with, of course, the Graduate.
Any cancer related deaths make me sad actually. It just hits too close to home.

Speaking of cancer, my mom has begun radiation, chemo and a new drug. At first they didn't think chemo was needed, but at last minute they included it, which makes me nervous. That means it was worse then they initially thought, because they want it gone that much sooner. She's been very sick. The combo of radiation and chemo has been brutal on her stomach. She feels weaker then she has in months. I'm worried about her.

I'm doing ok. I'm tired. I'm confused by my medication. I've been having these weird things happen in the afternoons. Its hard for me to sit still and concentrate. Its hard to even knit. I thought it was the Lithium, but they don't think it is. So I've been put back on it, which has made me quite annoyed. This is the first medication I've been on that I want nothing to do with. But, I have to keep everything the way it is until I can go in next week and find out why I'm going semi-crazy in the evenings. I hate feeling out of control. I have no control over my finances, my job, my social life, and now even my body. It SUCKS!

Two things I like: the subway and the Starbucks I go to every morning.
What I miss most about NY is the subway and the PATH train. I just love being able to stand and watch people on these trains zipping around the city. There's something almost romantic about the whole thing. I hate that Philly only has two, and I only get to use them once or twice a month. Its my favorite mode of transportation though.
Starbucks....I go in often. They know what I order. I always say thank you and smile. So while every stupid fuck on a cell phone ignores the people behind the counter, I actually say hello and will occasionally chit chat with them. There's something nice about seeing the same people every morning and have them ask me how I am. I'm corny that way.

Lots on my mind. I'll save the rest for later.

Tootles!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm having a shitty day, but one more thing I love.
Howard Dean!!!!!
I love that man, for saying everything I think and having the courage to say everything we all know.
Men who speak their minds are fucking sexy as hell!!!
akathisia:
Good luck with the meds. Sounds pretty difficult, i mean, i guess the doctors have to take a lot into consideration. But if you don't want to take a certain drug, shouldn't they take that in to consideration too?

The one thing i like (liked, yay, since i have a new position now!) about cashiering is getting to know some of the regulars.....its great to have someone to converse with who will tell you about their day and their life a little bit. It helps to distract from the horrid monotony of the job.
Jun 8, 2005
nyssa:
Sorry to hear that your mom isn't feeling well. I'll be keeping both of you in my thoughts, I'm a big believer in positive energy.

I miss my Starbucks, although I'm kind of happy that I'm not spending that much on coffee in the mornings any more. Now going to startbucks is a small journey, and I'm kind of lazy when it comes to driving anywhere.

Saying hello, smiling and saying thank you are some of the most important things that people don't do anymore. Why is it so hard to be even just a little bit nice. I said hello and thank you to someone the other day, a retail food kind of place, ane the person acted surprised that I was nice to her. It was really wierd and made me sad. We shouldn't be surprised by niceness.

Take care of yourself. Try to keep cool, this weather is enough to drive anyone a little crazy. I've found that eating water ice really helps...We're crazy about Rita's. I have too many favorite flavors. MMM.. We have green apple in the freezer right now. Gotta go! smile
Jun 8, 2005

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