Hey kids,
Its Sunday night. I spent most of this weekend in a slothful state and I am fine about that. Went to a GREAT Japanese rock show on Thursday and got completely trashed on Friday night at a friends house. Its been a long long time since I was intoxicated two nights in a row. I kind of missed it, until I was insanely ill Saturday morning...that kind of sucked...but everything else was nice.
Lots of exciting job things but I want to keep it on the DL until everything actually fleshes out. I'm not stupid enough to count my chickens before they hatch for a second time. How did Bush put it? Fool me once, good for you, fool me again, good for you again. I don't know...I can't really think that stupid to directly quote him.
The Sopranos is getting so good. I need something to obsess about until Deadwood comes back in the fall. And Criss Angel...back in May...OH YEAH!
I've been knitting samples for work alot lately. Its all I've been doing...which is fine. It keeps me busy, and I have an awesome yarn haul that will be mine when both my samples are done! Getting paid in yarn is the best! Although...I really should take pictures. I mean, my stuff does show up on the blog of my work...but its not the same as putting it here!
Next weekend is Easter already. I'm mildly bummed. My Mom always liked Easter and always got me and the boy some great candy. The first cake she ever made was for me for Easter...a yellow bunny with green grass in a basket and jellybeans. I bought some jellybeans thinking of her today...Smuckers. Tastiest little things ever!
Speaking of which...I miss her alot. I've had dreams about her, like she was still alive and I was talking to her about my job. She was so proud of me and we hugged. I don't know...I put on this big brave face all the time, but I'm really not. I cry all the damn time. Sometimes the pain in my chest is so great I just want to sleep so I don't feel it anymore. And I'm here to say that the pain doesn't go away...sure, I can have normal thoughts and I can go pretty much an entire day sob-free, but its always there...and every minute that I'm not concetrating on something else she's there....and I'm sad. It just sucks. It feels like I'm never going to be ok, and no matter how many successes I have there will always be something missing.
Sometimes the only thing you can do is cry...you know?
I'm so glad its finally warm out...and I come home and the sun is still out. Its glorious! But of course...all I want to fall already. Weird.
Its Sunday night. I spent most of this weekend in a slothful state and I am fine about that. Went to a GREAT Japanese rock show on Thursday and got completely trashed on Friday night at a friends house. Its been a long long time since I was intoxicated two nights in a row. I kind of missed it, until I was insanely ill Saturday morning...that kind of sucked...but everything else was nice.
Lots of exciting job things but I want to keep it on the DL until everything actually fleshes out. I'm not stupid enough to count my chickens before they hatch for a second time. How did Bush put it? Fool me once, good for you, fool me again, good for you again. I don't know...I can't really think that stupid to directly quote him.
The Sopranos is getting so good. I need something to obsess about until Deadwood comes back in the fall. And Criss Angel...back in May...OH YEAH!
I've been knitting samples for work alot lately. Its all I've been doing...which is fine. It keeps me busy, and I have an awesome yarn haul that will be mine when both my samples are done! Getting paid in yarn is the best! Although...I really should take pictures. I mean, my stuff does show up on the blog of my work...but its not the same as putting it here!
Next weekend is Easter already. I'm mildly bummed. My Mom always liked Easter and always got me and the boy some great candy. The first cake she ever made was for me for Easter...a yellow bunny with green grass in a basket and jellybeans. I bought some jellybeans thinking of her today...Smuckers. Tastiest little things ever!
Speaking of which...I miss her alot. I've had dreams about her, like she was still alive and I was talking to her about my job. She was so proud of me and we hugged. I don't know...I put on this big brave face all the time, but I'm really not. I cry all the damn time. Sometimes the pain in my chest is so great I just want to sleep so I don't feel it anymore. And I'm here to say that the pain doesn't go away...sure, I can have normal thoughts and I can go pretty much an entire day sob-free, but its always there...and every minute that I'm not concetrating on something else she's there....and I'm sad. It just sucks. It feels like I'm never going to be ok, and no matter how many successes I have there will always be something missing.
Sometimes the only thing you can do is cry...you know?
I'm so glad its finally warm out...and I come home and the sun is still out. Its glorious! But of course...all I want to fall already. Weird.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
shadyvito:
Hey, you're mom is definatly with you. I think you should make a bunny cake for easter. Hell, that would be a great tradition for you to start. I think you would be a great mom considering the great example that you were blessed with.
geekgurl:
He is cute in a weird way. I can definitely understand. 