apocdistroyer

i seriously need a change.. my friends are enimes in descise sadly i seem to have trip over the sheat they were hiding under and now i see them for what they are... nieves... shes her ... i love her .. she cares for me .. but she doesnt love me... i wish but i cant force it .. that wouldnt be love...my friends well an realy old friend just blew up afew days ago.. and well things just feelll into place ... its sad when youve been stabed in the balls so many times that being castrated seems like a daily acurance... im so tired of being blind and pouring my heart and soul out to protect and help some jackoff that just wants to use me to get some ends... god im blind... and stupid to boot ... all kinds of understanding and wisdom but no common sence... what a fucking smuck ive become... i hate this ... and for some fucked up reason i feel bad for being mad at this fucking gutter slut its just getting to me ... what the fuck do i half to feel bad for im i so stupid that i cant even get that well hay someone hurt me so fuck them its there fault not mine ... its not like i asked to be stabed in the back by someone i trused dearly.... .... somedays you realy hate being trained to killl ... it would be so easy just to cut every tendent and joint just so i can watch her suffer ... ... ... godess a little help here .... i could realy use some of that your hurt my people die stuff right now... destroy... destroy... dead... at least its only another mounth till i get my cat back stupid landlords and rules on pets ... its my cat let me have marduk back you fucking assholes.... god dame christian ideals of my way or the highway... i sware im just waiting for someone to say suck it so i can bite it off... and watch them die of blood loss and fear.... awww. ill be on later... sorry to rant ... but i just cant stand this shit much longer... if anyones in colorado and in the golden lakewood area... note me here i could realy use some new people to hang or talk with... cause these fuckers or two seconds from a shap short stab...