apocdistroyer

im working on moving. with any luck i should be in my new apt. around the 7th of next mounth. its ok im moving in with my ex and her friend (yes another lesbian). its better finacialy but my love life is shot all to hell. o well thats what i get for being me.... but its ok ... there all cool and it gives me time to sleep i guess and i can work on the car and stuff... ok so i still dont have a life... dont think i will for a while... it sucks to be a pagen without a covent or at least a solitary group... but there realy arent any around... i was giving some thought to joining d.a.w.n. but lately they have been more concerned about who leads and who follows than what the practishioners need.. its sad.. but life goes on. it has to the cycle contiues... so if im off for a while dont worry when you move things tend to get turned off..ill be back.. im looking forward to the sg show on the 25th im going rain snow or shine.. but im not so sure im going to be ok there.. i realy dont work well in huge groups expecialy when men are the majority... im trying to save some saki so i can have a drink before i go... but i doubt i ever will save saki ive been drinking lately...mostly on.. but its ok..
i love myself.. but some day i want to actuly have a physical realtionship with someone i love but i think love kills sex... not like its bad to go a few weeks without sex but mounths...when its three mounths off and one week to one mounth on then four mounths off again it sucks cause i love felling loved and compete.. but the down from nothing is far to hard to bare all the time..i wonder if thats wrong .. to want... to be intimate so much... i hope its not. its strange to want something that makes me so angry how most men push most women so hard to be intimate and they dont feel anything about it...
fucking bastards... o well
stupid cristian arvada colorado
well till next time later i supose.. not that anyone cares much.. but its fun to wright