apocalypto

in September of 2008 my friend Sali was found brutally raped and murdered in a secluded cabin near san jose del pacifico , Mexico. sali was a fearless warrior. she traveled alone, played the banjo, fought for justice and equality. sali is my hero. words cannot explain the grief we all feel for her loss. to me sali represents all that is good in the world. she was a truly genuine person. it is hard for me to look at her pictures or say her name without crying. every belly dancer, train spoke, animal bone and shiny object on the side of the road reminds me of her. i dream of her and her death and wake up shaking. she moves me. sali's funeral is this Saturday. it will be the first time i have met her mother. there are so many things i want to say to her but i dont know how. i want to tell her that her daughter is my hero. i want to tell her that her daughter changed so many lives. what a proud mother she must be.
there are so many feelings i have about sali's death. anger mostly. anger that Omar Yoguez Singu will probably serve a couple years and be set free, anger that people say she should have known better, anger that no one heard her screams. i think of that man and i wonder did he know sali? did he know her strength?would he have stopped if he did? why did he do this? i know sali fought back i know she would have never died lying down. i cant fight the images of her death. did she cry? did she beg? was she scared? i tell myself sali is a strong woman .sali would never die without a fight. sali is a fearless warrior. i want to imagine sali as that , a fearless warrior but those images keep coming back.
when i heard of salis death i was preparing for my daughters first birthday. i picked up the phone and my friend statcha said " i need to tell you something and you need to sit down, sali has been murdered" . i instantly fell to the floor sobbing and screaming. i have never felt to much grief. even when my own daughter passed i was sad yes, but i felt at ease knowing she died peacefully, knowing that she died safely and calmly and that i was here for her. with sali it was just pain. he murder was so brutal. no one found her for weeks. and for so long all i could do was read the news article over and over. how could the post her body on the Internet. the blood , the weapon, that man. those images haunt me.
she has forever changed our lives. i dont want sali to see us all greiving though. i know sali would want us to be dancing and smiling. sali did more in her short lifetime than most people do in their whole lives. lets all take a moment to remember sali and enjoy the life we have. make every moment count and never back down. i love you sali, i miss you and i will never stop fighting.


**story of sali's death: http://www.globalexchange.org/countries/americas/mexico/dispatches/6010.html

**sali's memorial website: http://sali-ratty.weebly.com/index.html

**blog about sali: http://barkingzanahorias.blogspot.com/2008/10/sali-marcela-grace-eiler-on-dance-and.html