Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

aphexplotz

Danville, Ca

Member Since 2004

Followers 125 Following 145

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Tuesday Apr 19, 2005

Apr 19, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Dear you.

Yeah you.

You know what? Yeah, I dont either.

Why do you live where you do? Why are you going where you must? You should be here. Now.

I want...
You.
... to dance with me, its the only time i get to put my face right next to yours and smell that sweet tangy smell only you seem to have.
Why does everyone seem to smell different? Its completely unique to that person, a mystery of the human chemistry, as someone wiser than I said. Then, when you cant have that one particular smell, or it leaves you, everything and everyone seems to remind you of it. You turn around and expect to see that person, only to see it was just unconcous hallucinations of what you want.
It's maddening.

Is your brain designed to want things it cant have? Are people more appealing when you know they're leaving, or there's something stopping the two of you from getting together? Probably. Doesnt make it any easier.

Blah. Yeah, its getting that time, of year. The weather is getting nicer, and i'm still very single. Baaad combo. Seems like everyone is turning an eye to look at each other. I talk, i flirt, i go out to bars. I meed a lot of promising people, even more who arent even close. I'll get one.

They're out there. I dont believe in soulmates or fate, to that extent. I beleive i can find qualities in any number of people, they just have to reach a high enough standard. Unfortunately (or fortunately, i cant seem to decide) that standard is pretty high. In recent dating history, i've let looks cloud my judgement as to quality of personality, education, sociability, and the ability to watch hours of kung-fu movies for on end while curled up under blankets. I wont let that happen again.

Quality of personality is absolutely key to me right now. I'm not settling, i'm not going through another 6 months of bickering and arguing, trying to defend my lifestyle and who I am. I come as-is, and i demand a lot. If you cant handle that, you're not the one for me.

I need to get back to parts of my life i've abandoned. Parts of my life that I love, that just havent gotten the time they deserve. The first of those is myself. Self image++

Dear me:

Come on asshole, sieze the day.
siara:
thankyou so much for your sweet comment on my last set! biggrin
apparently when you stop looking you find the person of your dreams.. hmmmm.. confused
Apr 19, 2005
emilygee:
thank you, sir.
Apr 22, 2005

More Blogs

  • 07.25.05
    5

    Monday Jul 25, 2005

    Zug Zug.
  • 07.22.05
    3

    Friday Jul 22, 2005

    I'm in DC! Just finishing my first week of work, but at the moment…
  • 07.13.05
    5

    Wednesday Jul 13, 2005

    Sophie and cklarock rock my socks off. They're definately in the runn…
  • 07.12.05
    10

    Tuesday Jul 12, 2005

    Update: In denver now, tomorrow i head to Kansas City and crash w…
  • 07.09.05
    6

    Saturday Jul 09, 2005

    Tonight, i leave on my road trip. Wheee.
  • 07.05.05
    8

    Tuesday Jul 05, 2005

    I start work on the 18th, in DC. I'm still in california. This …
  • 07.03.05
    3

    Monday Jul 04, 2005

    Theres something really sad about finding love letters from someone y…
  • 06.30.05
    2

    Friday Jul 01, 2005

    Top 100 things I would do if i were an evil overlord.
  • 06.29.05
    7

    Wednesday Jun 29, 2005

    Read More
  • 06.26.05
    13

    Sunday Jun 26, 2005

    what is YOUR favorite swear word?

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

25
years
1
month
12
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,712 SuicideGirls
  • 1,113,818 followers
  • 15,160,070 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,905,158 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | Safety Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Complaint / Content Removal Policy | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2026

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo
logo

This is an adult website.

You must be at least 18 years old to enter. Click below to confirm.

Cookies must be enabled to use the site and save your age confirmation.

Exit