Here's something you might not know.

Jesus was a Zombie. Mind you, this wasnt true for most of his life, but after "Easter", when he came back from the dead, he most certainly was. So, to ward off foul demons each year and prevent his inevitable brain sucking return, we celebrate the rebirth and turn a blind eye to the unholy abomination that was the king of zombies. This year, we're breaking the tradition. The newly dubbed "Zombie Jesus Day" will be celebrated with red wine, and bloody marys with celery crosses. We will revel in the death of many zombies, punctuated with fine documentaries such as "Evil Dead 2", "Dawn of the Dead", Shawn of the Dead" and "28 Days Later"

I urge you to break your shackles of fear and revel in the killing of zombies on sunday. Drinks are on me.