apex_tiki

its goin on 2 AM. ive been at the shop since midnight. i closed up at 120. a friend called me. to talk to me about my brother. in fact this friend used to be my brothers room mate. right now. im sitting here. with about as much emotion as a rock. with everything that happened this month. ive just been in a daze. right now. i just want to cry. but what is it gonna solve? i just cant stand that all of this had to happen. what did i do? im having to deal with all of this. not my brother. hes just doin stupid shit. all the time. still. somehow he is doing it. hes been cut off from the world. i really think that he needs to get kicked out of the house. out on the streets so he can see how fucked up everything is. my parents just keep giving him chances. well its my mom really. because she loves her 2 baby boys. ill be in and out of here. no. most likely here. i like it here. my SG friends leave me good notes. this is one of my more thought out entries. not just random thoughts. although it seems that way. i think right now i just need someone. someone to go to and talk to. at a time like this i wish i had a girlfriend. sounds kinda sad. actually it really is. shoot me in the face. car bomb. beating. something. this is misery. i tried to be a positive person. i tried to help. i didnt just turn my back and leave. i stayed. i worked. and look, now im applying to work at auto parts stores because i dont want to ask my parents for money. its sad. im off. its late. too late. dont cry for me. i want to die.