apex_tiki

tonight the shit hit the fan. we all confronted my brother about his drug issue. at first i thought he was freebasin with heroin or something to that effect. but he was addicted to speed. no matter what it is, its a dangerous addiction. dont even try to tell me its not. everything has been goin into the shitter for him since he moved out 2 years ago. he tried to start a telecom business with his friends help. his friend ended up puttin him in debt with SBC/Pac Bell. the debt is upwards of 50,000 dollars. first problem stated. the next was him not being able to find a job to take care of rent. so his friend wanted to help so he floated him along with cash. bad news because my brother still hasnt been able to find work to pay this off. so that is about 6000 dollars to add to the debt list. at this point i want to help and move him back in. he wont listen to me. this is 2 years ago. it just keeps snowballing. he ends up finding some work. and he is excited. we are all excited. he goes with that for a few months and quits because he is bored. the majority of the debt is still unsettled. a year goes by and he moves out of that house and into an apartment with his other friend. same situation. no money, no rent. floating along again because of good friends that want to help. more debt to his friend. now, this other friend that is living in the apartment has a girlfriend that is here from japan on a student visa. and if she isnt going to school. that means she is here illegally. not good. so this friend ends up helping my brother with the intention that my brother will pay him back. no, my brother ends up running with some new losers, and they end up gettin him into speed. these dudes are some old gangsters. now. he ends up moving back into the house 2 months ago. i help. so things will be settled and he needs to come clean to my folks. at this point, we dont know about the drug addiciton yet. this was found out 2 weeks ago. anyhow. he moves back here, my folks are happy and they want to help him start to repay his debt and get him back on the right track. because right now he is in deep. further down than 6 feet. again, we still dont know about the addiction. i go to his friends and they tell me everything i need to know. debts, drugs, and his erratic behavior. now, the past few months that he has been here, he has told my folks that he is doin side jobs with his friends. they believe him. not knowing that he is out doin what he does. today i went to work and called one of his friends to figure something out to get him out of this shit. because yes, it is still putting him in deeper and deeper. well everything was put out on the table tonight. his drug addiction, his lies, his behavior, and his lifestyle. and why all of a sudden some of his good friends just stopped comin around. i asked my brother last night if he was using drugs. he told me no. he told my parents no. he told everyone else no. he lied to me to my face. i dont lie to people. i dont expect it when they lie to me. i figure everyone is tellin the truth. i still have a few things to learn. i should not have been blind to this situation and seen my brothers sudden change. something that has put him on the path of a downward spiral. i have let it go on for too long. because i was mad at him for abandoning the family when he moved out. i will not say we. because my parents have their own responsibilities and my brother and myself are two grown adults. we should have been able to take care of business. i have been trying while working with my father and our business. i would like to use the cop out answer and say that i was too busy. i will not use that. because this is family. no one gets left behind. tonight was the "intervention" my brothers 2 good friend were here to talk to him. and i was here. now both of the friends are the ones that floated him along and i asked for them to be here. we all talked and let things be known. my brother admitted to his drug addiction. after hours of trying to get him past the stage of denial. we got past that and he finally admitted to it at 1050 PM. we had been talking since 845 pm. it moves quickly when everyone is watching you. my mother cried. at that moment i felt pain. i havent felt pain for a long time. then my brothers friend alwin, the one with the japanese girlfriend was talking about how she has to go back to japan now, because they couldnt make the tuition payment. he started to say that he finally had someone to care about and now she has to go. that hit me like a ton of bricks. i know that feeling. and he started to cry and thats when i couldnt take it and i started to tear up. it hurt me so much that my mother was crying and that my brothers problem had affected so many people. things continued. everything was admitted and now my brother is on the road for help. the next step will most likely be rehab for him. and he needs to get away from the other crowd he has been partying with. this hurt me alot tonight. to know that he had lied to my face. lied to my parents. lied to his friends. lied to everyone. mostly because i watched him lie to himself. how little self respect could he have now to even be able to lie to himself. tonight hurt me more than anything. more than losing vala. more than losing my grandfather. tonight was the worst night of my life. now it is over. and tomorrow. we rebuild. if you took the time to read this. thank you very much.