One of the comments on my last journal entry opened my eyes to the fact that that all made me sound rather whiny and pathetic.
It's not quite the case, I'm afraid. There were just some > happy thoughts running through my head.
In all honesty, I couldn't be happier about the fact that things are over. It's just the way that they ended and the way that we interact now that bothers me. Or maybe I should change that to the way we don't interact. It's probably better this way.
The ex is here. This is her playground as well. I'm being very careful to avoid fucking with her here. It was mine first, but I'm pretty good at sharing and as long as she has no clue I'm here, it should all be okay. It helps that she doesn't know I've moved and would therefore have a hard time finding me even if she did find out I was here.
If only there was some way to make myself invisible to her, I'd be a bit more active.
Anyway, I'm hungry for something. Not sure what yet, but I'm going to go put some effort into finding out.
It's not quite the case, I'm afraid. There were just some > happy thoughts running through my head.
In all honesty, I couldn't be happier about the fact that things are over. It's just the way that they ended and the way that we interact now that bothers me. Or maybe I should change that to the way we don't interact. It's probably better this way.
The ex is here. This is her playground as well. I'm being very careful to avoid fucking with her here. It was mine first, but I'm pretty good at sharing and as long as she has no clue I'm here, it should all be okay. It helps that she doesn't know I've moved and would therefore have a hard time finding me even if she did find out I was here.
If only there was some way to make myself invisible to her, I'd be a bit more active.
Anyway, I'm hungry for something. Not sure what yet, but I'm going to go put some effort into finding out.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
something that would make me never want another
something that would make it so that nothing matters
all would be clear then
but i guess i'll have to settle for a for a few brief moments
and watch all dissolve into a single second
and try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line
because that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
you are here and then you're gone
but i believe that lovers should be tied together and
thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
left there to drown
in their innocence
but as for me i'm coming to the final chapter
i read all of the pages and there is still no answer
only all that was before i know must soon come after
that is the only way it can be
so i stand in the sun
and i breathe with my lungs
trying to spare myself the weight of the truth
saying everything you have ever seen was just a mirror
and you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
and now you are laying ina bathtum full of freezing water
wishing you were a ghost
but once you knew a girl and you named her lover
and danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer
but autumn came, she disappeared
you don't remember where she said she was going to
but you know that she is gone because she left you a song
that you don't want to sing
we're singing i believe that lovers should be chained together
and thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
and left there to burn in their arrogance
but as for me i'm coming to my final failure
i've killed myself with changes trying to make it better
but i still ended up becoming something other than what i had planned to be
now i believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
and layed entwined together on a bed of clover
and left there to sleep