i keep getting deleted or replaced...
i know no one else sees it that way, but i have a low self-esteem and i'm a pessimist,
So it looks like that in my eyes.
i am forcing myself, once again, to do something i'd really hate to do, for someone else.
But i don't think they care,
i think they're pretty much dead.
It's because it took me too long to do it.
i just feel like crawling in that box i found and curling up and falling alseep.
And never waking up.
i feel like such a stupid little doll.
Or, maybe a marionette tangeled in her strings.
i probably look fucking emo. xP
But i'm not. Everything was rainbows until i ran out of manic... hehe.
Manic, that's what gets you through the week.
i'm going to go listen to loud ass music until my ears bleed...
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And then i'll stand in the kitchen consuming terrible things, like butter crackers with vanilla cake icing. And then i'll pass out and be completely dead and burned out in the morning, which makes me happy because i don't feel a thing. Like, i'm not sad or scared of anxious or anything. i'm... happy.
i went chasing the most beautiful rainbow i'd ever seen yesterday. It was a double rainbow, too. The bottom one was neon, and the top one was pretty faint and pastel, but they were both unbroken arches. They disappeared before we could catch them.