aoife

I'm watching Mayor of the Sunset Strip and wanting to run off to an L.A. that doesn't exist anymore. The L.A. that photos of Marilyn Monroe used to promise, spun-candy-sweet and laughing and dying young and pretty. Maybe even the L.A. that Guns'N'Roses songs at their best echo, howling endless nights of rock and drugs and sweaty sex.

Last night on my way home I found "Candle in the Wind" on the radio and really listened to it for the first time since he re-recorded it for Princess Di and I found that cheap. I thought about Marilyn and the myth and my life as a series of pop-culture references, and how I need to read Blonde again but I'm deep into social theory reading again, thought about the fluff in my life and wondered if pop culture is really the only kind of culture we're ever going to have.

And so I want to take myself out of these surroundings and see what really matters to me when I'm alone. What do I miss and what do I want? Although, these days, I'm not surrounded by anything hip or pop or fabulous or anything but beach and books and my own brain. And tiredness. So who knows if what I want now isn't for real?

right now, I would like to go crawl in bed with Steve. but right now he is freaking out because the little one starts school on Tuesday. so I will wait until after Tuesday to say, "Steve, you must put out or I am going to chew off my own arm."