So even though I have a sneaking suspicion that somebody may have found and read this journal (either that or he really is just that good at figuring out when things upset me), I am going to complain for just a second.
Ever feel like someone's pulling you in with one hand while holding you back with the other? I know I'm certainly not the first to feel like someone's brought things to a level only to back off from it. I feel like we take one step forward (lately they've been huge ones--meeting the kid, reading the journals) and then he runs backward two. Problem is, it's very hard to go backward from holding hands in tears across a table talking about the worst experience someone's ever had. Normal conversation feels a bit odd after that. Bitching about customers at work just doesn't have the same je ne sais quoi.
I've commented that I feel like I'm in a long-distance relationship with someone that lives here. Lately we've been emailing each other a good bit, which only adds to it.
I guess I want to know if he's just the type to unload heavy emotional stuff on everyone he hangs out with for a month or two, or if he's more serious than he'd like to admit. And if that's scary, or if he can just brush me off and walk away.
I have lots of issues from the past on this subject. I was in love with a guy who was supposed to get married and eventually left her to be with me. (Shut up NOW if you're going to call me a homewrecker--it will only get you stricken from my friends list) I held his hand through his breakup and was his best friend when nobody else cared, and one day he just stopped talking to me. Said later it was because things got too serious too quickly and he was scared of that after his recent breakup. Fine, bro, just remember, YOU put us on that level.
I am very willing to be everyone's shoulder to cry on. To be the late-night phone call and person who won't judge when everyone else does. So when I end up feeling like things are one-sided, it's my own fault mostly, because I don't talk about my problems to people I'm dating but encourage them to do so. Suppose I should stop that. After all, in that case, I'm the one who's put them on this level.
Ever feel like someone's pulling you in with one hand while holding you back with the other? I know I'm certainly not the first to feel like someone's brought things to a level only to back off from it. I feel like we take one step forward (lately they've been huge ones--meeting the kid, reading the journals) and then he runs backward two. Problem is, it's very hard to go backward from holding hands in tears across a table talking about the worst experience someone's ever had. Normal conversation feels a bit odd after that. Bitching about customers at work just doesn't have the same je ne sais quoi.
I've commented that I feel like I'm in a long-distance relationship with someone that lives here. Lately we've been emailing each other a good bit, which only adds to it.
I guess I want to know if he's just the type to unload heavy emotional stuff on everyone he hangs out with for a month or two, or if he's more serious than he'd like to admit. And if that's scary, or if he can just brush me off and walk away.
I have lots of issues from the past on this subject. I was in love with a guy who was supposed to get married and eventually left her to be with me. (Shut up NOW if you're going to call me a homewrecker--it will only get you stricken from my friends list) I held his hand through his breakup and was his best friend when nobody else cared, and one day he just stopped talking to me. Said later it was because things got too serious too quickly and he was scared of that after his recent breakup. Fine, bro, just remember, YOU put us on that level.
I am very willing to be everyone's shoulder to cry on. To be the late-night phone call and person who won't judge when everyone else does. So when I end up feeling like things are one-sided, it's my own fault mostly, because I don't talk about my problems to people I'm dating but encourage them to do so. Suppose I should stop that. After all, in that case, I'm the one who's put them on this level.
addlepatedwight:
