anywayyouneedme

mmm... i can't stop thinking and worrying about... the desperation that comes with a decreasing intensity of drugs. katy gave me some ultracet and i was nice and fucked up abut then i started to panic, i didn't want it to go away... so i had some beer and it made me VERY silly and for a moment i was plagued with that regret i seem to be recently so familiar with, like a near death experience as i seem to enjoy describing it as. that momentary remorse and acceptance that i've made a mistake. but it went away and now i want to be more fucked up. my jaw hurts so badly and i'm itchy. mmm... me and katy are getting our hairs cut tomorrow. i want it short... kinda like roby's but i'm scared. i think i'm just gonna cut it kinda like katy's hair when it was a bit shorter. today was fun, we painted a bit more of her room and went to the clinic because she's sick and then went to CVS where i saw an empty box of generic coricidin behind an issue of maxm (LISA) HAHAHA. and we picked up ultracet and then went to her mommy's studio and listened to the band, who were fucking amazing. they're like... reggae blues with a violin. very pretty. and katy's mommy is cool with me smoking which rocked... so one of the band members gave me a cigarette which made me happy... none of them were drop dead gorgeous which made me sad. but when i was peeing, i heard them cover a rage song... i cant remember which one it was now... but i hummed along and couldnt figure out what it was till it ended and now the fact that i cant remember which song it was is killing me. but the guys voice sounded like ben harper and they have a really nice mellow unique sound and i was impressed. i like to ramble on like a jackass... if you couldn't tell. anyways.. we were supposed to go party with katy's sister in boston tonight but katy is not feeling well so we stayed here. but we had chinese and watched red dragon so it was still fun. man i am really fucked up and stupid. alright i should go before i make myself sound any stupider. i mean, any worse than i just did by saying "stupider" toodles!