anxious

Long time no post. Per usual I suppose. I almost forgot I had another year on my SG account since I forgot to cancel it.

So much has happened since my last post.

Back in May, a friend of mine from high school passed away from a shooting. It was tragic and struck a chord in me that I didn't expect. It made anatomy class difficult.

As of the end of August, I am no longer a poor college student, but just poor.

I've moved back home and have only started to work on getting settled. I have found in the past couple of weeks my relationship with my parents has been grating. But I think that it comes with the territory. I've lived away with the illusion of freedom for so long, coming back just seems a bit suffocating.

I think my poor attitude is also due to the fact that my relationship for the past year ended on Tuesday as he flew off to Italy to start a new life. Although it was complicated and rocky, I would really have to say he was my first love. So it's been hard. I mean, it's only been five days or so. I haven't been handling the separation well. He's been busy and I've been moping around.

It was such a strange feeling when I realize the other day that I'm almost treating this event like I did a death, despite him being very well alive (thank goodness). It is the death of us, of what we had, I suppose. I think coping is more difficult because I have nothing to do, while all my friends are busy with their lives, jobs, significant others, and the like, when this is a time I feel I might need them the most.

I've run out of steam and don't know what else to say for now. I guess, all I can do is wait. Time heals, right?