anton

I was lying on her bed, watching her take off her singlet. Her back was facing me, and she was talking about the weather. Its too hot today, she said, I think.

I watched as she slowly slid the singlet up her back, as if in slow motion, exposing the bottom of one of her breasts, bouncing briefly as it came out from under the white, ribbed cotton. She arched her back a little. I didnt blink for a few seconds.

She walked to her old, wooden chest of drawers, and pulled one out. I dont have any clean clothes, she said, her back still to me. How fucked.

I rolled on to my back and looked at her upside down. Youre going to smell, I said. People will walk by you and roll their eyes and scrunch up their noses. She rummaged through the drawer, throwing some mismatched socks on the floor. Then she turned around to look at the rest of the room for no reason. She stood in her pink striped undies, holding an arm across her chest to hide her breasts in characteristic self-consciousness. I kept looking at her hips, where her undies ended and her skin began. I wished I wasnt upside down.

Seriously she said.

She walked from her drawers to her windows. Shed closed the blinds before taking her singlet off.

When she crawled out of bed, stumbling vaguely towards the blinds, I assumed she was getting changed. I was disappointed. Id woken up before her, and seen her body wrapped in tight, white, ribbed cotton, and it was just what I wanted to see.

Everything was white really. The sheets on her bed were white, and the walls were white, and her chairs were white. When I first lay on her bed, weeks ago, Id been amazed that someone could have such a white room. If I had white sheets, I thought as I kissed her shoulder and looked at her bed, Id have to do the laundry every fucking week. I stopped kissing her shoulder and thought about for a few seconds.

What? asked, smiling her imperfect smile. She had a crooked canine tooth. Her chest began to blush, her white skin spilling red from her breasts up.

I was looking at your bed, I said. And how you have white sheets thats kind of awesome. She smiled again, this time without any teeth. Her smile looked more conventional, and I didnt like that.

You have the hottest teeth, I told her. I know thats weird, but you really do. Theyre I dont know how to put it

It turned out I didnt have to think of a way to put it. We kissed on her bed for two hours, as long as it took to listen to a Tim Buckley anthology twice. It was the slow kind of kissing. The kind where you stop for minutes at a time, just because. Every time I paused, I wondered whether this would be the break where we wouldnt kiss again, and wed go to sleep entwined.

My first kisses were like that. Incredibly slow and breathy. And every time my lips would pull back from hers, or hers from mine, Id wonder whether that was going to be the last kiss between us both. I always think that, and I suppose I always will. You never know what the last kiss will be. It turned out our last kiss was in her car the next day, and it was a restrained peck on the lips while I thought about whether the chemist would still be open.

I was disappointed to see this girl in front of me changing because I loved her in a singlet. I loved seeing her curves covered by thin cotton. I loved her nipples which would get hard whenever, stretching the ribbing out. I loved that shed move and her singlet would slip off her shoulder.

But soon shed be wearing a shirt and a bra and unwashed jeans and thongs, and wed be sitting in a caf. Id have to get up and slip my belt through the buckles on my jeans and tie my shoelaces and find my sunglasses. And wed probably still talk about the weather, but Id still be thinking about her crawling out of bed towards the blinds, her shape silhouetted by the morning sun pounding through her window.

And we did talk about the weather, and I did think about her shape. Summers here, she said, squinting and holding her hand over her face. I need to buy sunglasses.

Do you want to wear mine? I asked, hoping she wouldnt want to wear them.

No, Im cool. The sun will move, she said, but I could tell she wanted to wear them. I took them off my face and handed them to her. She smiled that smile and put them on. Theyre too big for my head, she said, as the aviator sunglasses slipped down her nose.

She ordered something I cant pronounce. I ordered a pineapple juice. So are you going to uni next year? I asked, thinking about her teeth. I dont know, she said, still squinting a little. I kind of hate it. But if I dont go I wont have anything to do. I told her she could make movies. Like, be in them? Or direct them? she asked, really curious, leaning forward.

Both? I dont know. Its just something to do. Itd be fun. You could buy a cheap camera. Find a script. Put some zombies in it, I suggested. I love zombies, she said, and I agreed with her. Twice.