Monday Nov 12, 2007

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I'm having fun.

Life is peachy now that I realize everything is shit. That no matter how hard I try I cannot be happy until I change myself from this miserable misanthrope obsessed with retaliation...I'm sleepy now. I think I'm gonna dream it off. Good luck to me and madening boredom...

Friday Nov 09, 2007

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Nothing much to say, my life is really boring.
I'm in a mind set of leaving everything behind me right now and moving with 3 other people to montreal. Just a few lost boys looking for adventure in a foriegn city. 3000 miles to freezing fucking temperatures...seems like a crazy idea. Lets GO! lol I dunno I really need to think about that...is it worth...
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givememedicine:
i say go for it. if i could.. i would leave here as quickly as fucking possible. i'm looking into Europe myself.. but dunno. i have no money! woo.

i've heard montreal is amazing. DOOOOO it.

Wednesday Oct 31, 2007

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Mistress love I'm kissing your neck with the sweat running down your back. Each pulse filling my mouth full of blood I'm drowning in sweet desire. I'm loving when I'm killing. Just sufficate with me. Your murder will be my suicide.

The news will say "Murderer Commits Suicide!!!" but we'll both know how much we were willing to die regardless of our times. These words...
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Monday Oct 29, 2007

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Strange things happen to people. What is in there eyes when their smiles are filled with lies. I cry for you. I cry tears of rage filled with crimes against our state. This law is taught just right wedged between two lines of coke, right?

Tell me more about your ideals of structure to the unthought of consequences from negelect. Oh you have none, no...
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Sunday Oct 28, 2007

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Times to tired to care I'm off drooling lies from left of mouth, whispering sweat really nothings to girls caught up worse in the fantasy than me, exaggerating what I mean times ten in there fucked up crazy heads after a night in bed. You know the truth just admit you knew I could care less, I told you so. I never lied without revealing...
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Friday Oct 26, 2007

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FUCK!

So its gonna be steal or deal for the next few days...My paycheck isn't coming till next friday...God damnit I'm pissed I was supposed to get my tattoo finished...now I have to go lie, cheat, steal & deal so I can make it till friday...hehe I'm actually excited, I'm sure I can make it 7 days without any cash or asking for any help...
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Monday Oct 22, 2007

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Life is a battle between death and reason. Figuring out the reason for living is the battle.

Understanding death will happen is often never comprehended especially those of suicidal nature. I hate this idea that suicide is "horrible/shame" doesn't anyone ever understand its freedom? Freedom from the misery of life. Whose life if any is without turmoil and misery?

It seems everyone is a victim...
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apathy:
Just make sure you get a D.N.R. tattoo or something..
antipunk:
hmm

Monday Oct 22, 2007

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"Of the three metamorphoses of the spirit I tell you: how the spirit becomes a camel; and the camel, a lion; and the lion, finally, a child.
There is much that is difficult for the spirit, the strong, reverent spirit that would bear much: but the difficult and the most difficult are what its strength demands.
What is difficult? asks the spirit that would bear...
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Monday Oct 15, 2007

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Twisting blades like empty stairwells, I find it impossible to save the money thrown down in an uproar. I carry out methodically stepping, moving but there is no smile to my goal. No reward, there is only patience...what more could I have?

The silence echoes in my head while voices ring from outside the building. Walls paper thin cheering for removal, but I like this...
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givememedicine:
I love the way you write.
givememedicine:
yes, well I'm currently going through a huge dropping out with my "best friend" [since junior year]. She says that I'm too depressing and therefore I make her depressed.. of course she won't tell me this to my face, I have to find it out from someone else.. but yeah.. I think that's maybe what it's about.. but whatever. I'm learning that I don't need anyone but myself. There's nothing out there that I can't find out on my own. I don't need other people to help me see.. I'm slowly going from an existentialist to a nihilist I believe. heh.

Sunday Oct 14, 2007

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This world of reality is building systems in my mind. Its infected me with desire and passion. Struck rapidly with creativity I see blocks need moving to fit in better suspense to balance out the scales. Its wisdom from the soul breathing out of my throat. Thinking lines of words streamed together can bend the fabric that so softly covers. I am no mute dummy...
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stosbetlp:
I think the intrigue is coming from my desire to tell fact from fiction.. and I very much can't.
You are right.. this is madness in an unfamiliar form.
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