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antipunk

The place where people die before they live

Member Since 2007

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Monday Oct 15, 2007

Oct 15, 2007
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Twisting blades like empty stairwells, I find it impossible to save the money thrown down in an uproar. I carry out methodically stepping, moving but there is no smile to my goal. No reward, there is only patience...what more could I have?

The silence echoes in my head while voices ring from outside the building. Walls paper thin cheering for removal, but I like this faded paint and wilting paper. It feels like I feel.

To me it means something, likeness akin, belonging. Fitting in where others say it should not be at all.

Its worn out but not useless, if you could warp your sight from focus to perspective, maybe love would come from disgusting things. I breathe alone...even though I know others breathe alone.

I can't and won't make you believe anything but I will shut my eyes to see and focus on nothing to set me free.

Aching deep within these bones & flesh I wish beyond all thoughts of rationality to really obtain what I seek.

Confirmation and love of my life and being. Your compassion is shrugged of as nothing. As your pain is not my feelings, abandoned on this path by choice! I often loose faith in my own makings. Would a stranger ever cross paths with me in this distant abstraction of reality?

I stand up and rise against my own dissatisfaction to walk with complete determination and continue without knowing what may be waiting for me.

I will not stop! I will not stall! I will not break! I will not fall!
I WILL TRAVEL FORWARD!
EVEN IT COMES TO MEAN NOTHING AT ALL!
givememedicine:
I love the way you write.
Oct 16, 2007
givememedicine:
yes, well I'm currently going through a huge dropping out with my "best friend" [since junior year]. She says that I'm too depressing and therefore I make her depressed.. of course she won't tell me this to my face, I have to find it out from someone else.. but yeah.. I think that's maybe what it's about.. but whatever. I'm learning that I don't need anyone but myself. There's nothing out there that I can't find out on my own. I don't need other people to help me see.. I'm slowly going from an existentialist to a nihilist I believe. heh.
Oct 17, 2007

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