Freedom...Release the chains that hold you above the drowning pool of reality.
Sink into the depths of madness...violently fight for survival, or close your eyes and drown.
Inhale death as you choke on realization. Your life is nothingness...
Just figuring it out. Looking for that thing...
I found the thing, but I don't want it anymore... You can have it back, but I need it. I tried to forget it, but I wish to always have it. You never knew you didn't want it till you find it, but you always want it. To have it. I can't tell you that searching for it is the worst mistake you'll ever make. Because You won't know you don't want it till You find it. But you must find it cause you can't just accept it, you wouldn't look for it if you could just accept it, but trust me you don't want it but you must find it to know you don't...
Its that thing you want...
In a fit of drugs we all found it. Nihilism at its finest...apparent madness, but I assure you we were sane, too sane. Reality the saddest story ever told...
Nothing matters, none of it matters...blades to our throats, stolen cars, sex orgies, filthy pools, lude, rude, and crude. The answer shattered what was left of our pathetic minds...We each had our breaking points...all three of us.
Chaos became consumed realizing even if there was a heaven it was pointless, he took ally's car keys, began streaking randomly and was arrested after her car ran out of gas...
Law became consumed with establishing order in the face of madness to the point where everything had to be established, every person needed a foundation, logic to explain there actions and how they act. The abyss of nothingness could never be accepted...there must be order despite the fact that there was none. Everything was a system..."You deal the drugs, they buy the drugs, you get the money" After a while hysteria began to set in...he kept trying to make sense out of everything "I'm law, he's chaos, your the gasoline just perpetuating everything...put out the fire, start it up, put it out start it up" His breaking point came when he jumped off the roof into the pool...he couldn't stand thinking anymore about the thing...
I stayed awake...this isn't the first time I've thought life and reality to its very basics of functions and absolute meaning. I had thought about life so long there was nothing left to think about there was nothing left to figure out. Life was pointless, life had no meaning, life had no purpose...I had nothing left to do but sleep...But I was tired of sleeping I was tired of outthinking life and having nothing left to do but sleep and forget so that I could breath another day. I reached the point of sleep but I was tired of going to sleep when I had nothing left to think about...I wanted to push further to go farther to think more...maybe if I think more...maybe if I take some more drugs...maybe if I just keep thinking...maybe I will reach a place I've never been before. So I stayed awake despite the interests of staying alive.
So I continued my drug binge...like every drug binge of hopeless accord it began with the same two words "Fuck It."
I dosed myself with 25 hits of LSA on top of the 8 I was already on...the madness became unbelievable...I tried to think and think and think and think some more but I had already answered all the questions on life I had already answered all the question on personality...I already had every answer...there was nothing new to think about...so I sunk into hysteria...I began crying, laughing, and screaming simultaneously...I couldn't bring myself to words without wanting to bring a knife to my throat. I accomplished my life...or so I thought...nothing more but to die...I wanted to drown in the deep dark pool that seemed to offer me escape. "No wait, don't!" Literally words taken much larger than there common meaning. "No wait for death to happen don't do it yourself." I can't commit suicide because I think maybe...just maybe...if I wait around long enough I'll be happy...maybe...whatever...fuck it.
It didn't matter, nothing matters, lets just die. Come die with us. Children of reason, madness consumed reality absorbed...who would go to jail? who would die? and who would go insane? They were all very likely scenarios for us at the time. We were all crazy, we were all on drugs, we were all "figuring it out" You know life? Thats what we were figuring out...life itself...Its a futile search you can't find meaning in something when there is none. Sick of figuring it out I went madly hysterically insane for hours...until finally I fell asleep, but a knife blade against my throat would have been better...I begged for murder and it was begging.
~I want to be here, wanting to be there~
Sink into the depths of madness...violently fight for survival, or close your eyes and drown.
Inhale death as you choke on realization. Your life is nothingness...
Just figuring it out. Looking for that thing...
I found the thing, but I don't want it anymore... You can have it back, but I need it. I tried to forget it, but I wish to always have it. You never knew you didn't want it till you find it, but you always want it. To have it. I can't tell you that searching for it is the worst mistake you'll ever make. Because You won't know you don't want it till You find it. But you must find it cause you can't just accept it, you wouldn't look for it if you could just accept it, but trust me you don't want it but you must find it to know you don't...
Its that thing you want...
In a fit of drugs we all found it. Nihilism at its finest...apparent madness, but I assure you we were sane, too sane. Reality the saddest story ever told...
Nothing matters, none of it matters...blades to our throats, stolen cars, sex orgies, filthy pools, lude, rude, and crude. The answer shattered what was left of our pathetic minds...We each had our breaking points...all three of us.
Chaos became consumed realizing even if there was a heaven it was pointless, he took ally's car keys, began streaking randomly and was arrested after her car ran out of gas...
Law became consumed with establishing order in the face of madness to the point where everything had to be established, every person needed a foundation, logic to explain there actions and how they act. The abyss of nothingness could never be accepted...there must be order despite the fact that there was none. Everything was a system..."You deal the drugs, they buy the drugs, you get the money" After a while hysteria began to set in...he kept trying to make sense out of everything "I'm law, he's chaos, your the gasoline just perpetuating everything...put out the fire, start it up, put it out start it up" His breaking point came when he jumped off the roof into the pool...he couldn't stand thinking anymore about the thing...
I stayed awake...this isn't the first time I've thought life and reality to its very basics of functions and absolute meaning. I had thought about life so long there was nothing left to think about there was nothing left to figure out. Life was pointless, life had no meaning, life had no purpose...I had nothing left to do but sleep...But I was tired of sleeping I was tired of outthinking life and having nothing left to do but sleep and forget so that I could breath another day. I reached the point of sleep but I was tired of going to sleep when I had nothing left to think about...I wanted to push further to go farther to think more...maybe if I think more...maybe if I take some more drugs...maybe if I just keep thinking...maybe I will reach a place I've never been before. So I stayed awake despite the interests of staying alive.
So I continued my drug binge...like every drug binge of hopeless accord it began with the same two words "Fuck It."
I dosed myself with 25 hits of LSA on top of the 8 I was already on...the madness became unbelievable...I tried to think and think and think and think some more but I had already answered all the questions on life I had already answered all the question on personality...I already had every answer...there was nothing new to think about...so I sunk into hysteria...I began crying, laughing, and screaming simultaneously...I couldn't bring myself to words without wanting to bring a knife to my throat. I accomplished my life...or so I thought...nothing more but to die...I wanted to drown in the deep dark pool that seemed to offer me escape. "No wait, don't!" Literally words taken much larger than there common meaning. "No wait for death to happen don't do it yourself." I can't commit suicide because I think maybe...just maybe...if I wait around long enough I'll be happy...maybe...whatever...fuck it.
It didn't matter, nothing matters, lets just die. Come die with us. Children of reason, madness consumed reality absorbed...who would go to jail? who would die? and who would go insane? They were all very likely scenarios for us at the time. We were all crazy, we were all on drugs, we were all "figuring it out" You know life? Thats what we were figuring out...life itself...Its a futile search you can't find meaning in something when there is none. Sick of figuring it out I went madly hysterically insane for hours...until finally I fell asleep, but a knife blade against my throat would have been better...I begged for murder and it was begging.
~I want to be here, wanting to be there~