It's official. We're in love. 
Mad, passionate, foolish, scary, exhausting, can hardly concentrate on anything else, disgustingly sappy love.
I've been feeling like that just might be the case for about a week now (so, yes, 2 weeks into our relationship
), but I was scared to say it. Scared I was being stupid, or kidding myself, or that I'd scare him, or he'd think I was stupid, or insane. But it felt like he felt the same way, and even if he didn't, I felt like I had to say it, because I feel that it's true, and he deserves to know how amazing he makes me feel. It was harder to say than I expected, especially since it had been on the tip of my tongue all night. I've never been the first to say it (in my whole other one serious relationship, and when he first said it, I definitely wasn't feeling it), and even though I was fairly confident he was at least on the way to feeling the same way, it still felt like a very vunerable position. Even though it wouldn't have changed a thing, as far as I'm concerned, if he hadn't had said it back, and I let him know he didn't have to, because it wouldn't have changed the way I felt, and the others messages of love and caring I get from him. I didn't want him to feel pushed into saying anything he wasn't comfortable saying. And he held me tightly, for a while, and it was beautiful, and he told me he loves me too. And right now I want little more than to remember that night for the rest of my life. The way he held me, and the way he was so happy to see me when he got home, and the way he was so appreciative of the (probably sub-standard) dinner I made (yes, I cooked. Without the microwave, even), and the warmth of his body next to mine, and just sharing those quiet, beautiful moments that said so very much, and the amazing sex, and, and everything. *sigh*
And you know what, maybe I'm being stupid, and maybe we're moving too fast, and maybe I'll get hurt again. But I don't care. Not a bit. I don't want to change a thing. Because to deny how I feel, to proceed only according to what's "right" and safe, that would be denying myself an incredible experience and opportunity. And I think that would be the stupidest thing I could do.
On a related topic, I have an incredibly painful bruise on my back between my ass and my waist, which I believe was acquired during one of the times we had sex last night. Either from the bump in the couch, or I think there's a good chance it was from when he was holding me so tightly. I like to think it's the latter. 'Cause that's just hot.
And, honestly, my sincerest apologies to those of you feeling bitter about relationships right now. I remember how utterly replusive it was to continuely read about everybody's "wonderful" partners and their "amazing" relationships, and it just made me want to
and/or throw things. But, ya know, I can't help it. I'm even writing this at work right now, which I shouldn't be, because I need to say it.
Mad, passionate, foolish, scary, exhausting, can hardly concentrate on anything else, disgustingly sappy love.
I've been feeling like that just might be the case for about a week now (so, yes, 2 weeks into our relationship
), but I was scared to say it. Scared I was being stupid, or kidding myself, or that I'd scare him, or he'd think I was stupid, or insane. But it felt like he felt the same way, and even if he didn't, I felt like I had to say it, because I feel that it's true, and he deserves to know how amazing he makes me feel. It was harder to say than I expected, especially since it had been on the tip of my tongue all night. I've never been the first to say it (in my whole other one serious relationship, and when he first said it, I definitely wasn't feeling it), and even though I was fairly confident he was at least on the way to feeling the same way, it still felt like a very vunerable position. Even though it wouldn't have changed a thing, as far as I'm concerned, if he hadn't had said it back, and I let him know he didn't have to, because it wouldn't have changed the way I felt, and the others messages of love and caring I get from him. I didn't want him to feel pushed into saying anything he wasn't comfortable saying. And he held me tightly, for a while, and it was beautiful, and he told me he loves me too. And right now I want little more than to remember that night for the rest of my life. The way he held me, and the way he was so happy to see me when he got home, and the way he was so appreciative of the (probably sub-standard) dinner I made (yes, I cooked. Without the microwave, even), and the warmth of his body next to mine, and just sharing those quiet, beautiful moments that said so very much, and the amazing sex, and, and everything. *sigh*
And you know what, maybe I'm being stupid, and maybe we're moving too fast, and maybe I'll get hurt again. But I don't care. Not a bit. I don't want to change a thing. Because to deny how I feel, to proceed only according to what's "right" and safe, that would be denying myself an incredible experience and opportunity. And I think that would be the stupidest thing I could do.
On a related topic, I have an incredibly painful bruise on my back between my ass and my waist, which I believe was acquired during one of the times we had sex last night. Either from the bump in the couch, or I think there's a good chance it was from when he was holding me so tightly. I like to think it's the latter. 'Cause that's just hot.
And, honestly, my sincerest apologies to those of you feeling bitter about relationships right now. I remember how utterly replusive it was to continuely read about everybody's "wonderful" partners and their "amazing" relationships, and it just made me want to
and/or throw things. But, ya know, I can't help it. I'm even writing this at work right now, which I shouldn't be, because I need to say it.VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
i feel in love within 2o minutes...so........
good luck darlin