I was hit hardest today by the "Just Married" picture frame in the closet we never got around to putting a picture in. I took it out of the box and just stared. Do I keep it for the next time around, or pass it off as a gift at the next wedding I attend? Or do I crush it under my boot-heel?
And then later, we laid in bed together and exchanged funny passages from the things we were reading. It was nice and tragic, and led to tears once the lights were out. I have a feeling lots of things will lead to tears in the next several days.
I'm up now because I ate too many chocolate covered strawberries earlier, and I don't really drink soda anymore, so the caffeine in the chocolate is enough to keep me awake, for a while, at least. The crying didn't quite tire me out the way I'd hoped.
I remember having friends who would drop anything if I needed them. I miss that.
Any local big, burly guys want to help me move a tv this weekend, at some point?
Sometimes I feel like my outsides should match my insides, and that I would feel better if I had bruises, so people could see that I was hurt.
He didn't ruin my life. I can't believe that anyone but me has the power to do that. But he tore it apart. Everything is backwards and inside out, and I'm not sure where all the pieces are anymore. Part of me hates him for doing that to me, and for doing it with such nonchalance. The rest of me would do anything to hear him say I love you again. I still hear it in my heart and in my head, about a thousand times a day. And I still have to stop myself several times a day from saying it to him. But those times are getting fewer and far between. I guess that's good.
It was NOT supposed to end like this.
P.S. So, I'm browsing this other nekkid people site, checking out their models, and, holy shit, there is the guy who works at my Hot Topic. I know this because he's in the same scholarship group I was in at school, although I'm fairly certain he doesn't remember me. Because I'm too cheap, and really don't care enough, I don't pay to check out his pictures to be sure. But I did scroll back in his journal a bit, and I'm 95% sure it's the guy I think it is. It sure is a small damn world.
And then later, we laid in bed together and exchanged funny passages from the things we were reading. It was nice and tragic, and led to tears once the lights were out. I have a feeling lots of things will lead to tears in the next several days.
I'm up now because I ate too many chocolate covered strawberries earlier, and I don't really drink soda anymore, so the caffeine in the chocolate is enough to keep me awake, for a while, at least. The crying didn't quite tire me out the way I'd hoped.
I remember having friends who would drop anything if I needed them. I miss that.
Any local big, burly guys want to help me move a tv this weekend, at some point?
Sometimes I feel like my outsides should match my insides, and that I would feel better if I had bruises, so people could see that I was hurt.
He didn't ruin my life. I can't believe that anyone but me has the power to do that. But he tore it apart. Everything is backwards and inside out, and I'm not sure where all the pieces are anymore. Part of me hates him for doing that to me, and for doing it with such nonchalance. The rest of me would do anything to hear him say I love you again. I still hear it in my heart and in my head, about a thousand times a day. And I still have to stop myself several times a day from saying it to him. But those times are getting fewer and far between. I guess that's good.
It was NOT supposed to end like this.
P.S. So, I'm browsing this other nekkid people site, checking out their models, and, holy shit, there is the guy who works at my Hot Topic. I know this because he's in the same scholarship group I was in at school, although I'm fairly certain he doesn't remember me. Because I'm too cheap, and really don't care enough, I don't pay to check out his pictures to be sure. But I did scroll back in his journal a bit, and I'm 95% sure it's the guy I think it is. It sure is a small damn world.
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dave_h:
as with most things in boot camp it happened to fast that I don't really remember it very clearly. we had to do things like jump into the water off a high platform with a pack and weapon and helmet and then swim across the pool, or in another test you have to swim dragging another recruit who plays dead across the length of the pool. It was kind of silly, really, but fun. I remember the water was super warm.
kittymalarchy:
I say that the frame is best used as a thing to cleanse the soul with...personnally I tend toward destroying it, but somehow passing it along is good too. Although I would probably have to anonymously do it- ie a thrift store or something. Otherwise, it's like giving a memory away. Good luck my love, and remember there is ALWAYS shopping (I was at Hot Topic as part of my shopping therapy) 