I don't know that I have ever wanted anything more in my life than I want to marry this boy. And more importantly at the moment, for him to ask me. And I am terrified that if it doesn't happen tomorrow, it won't be for almost another year, and I just might explode then.
You see, we've talked about this whole proposal thing, and the dorks we are, an important part is modeled after when Turk proposes to Carla on Scrubs, and JD runs around them cheering with sparklers. I really like this idea, because I like sparkley things. He's really into the idea of his best friend being a part of this by filling in the JD part. And I love his best friend as well, so that works for me.
But this is where our problem comes in. You see, his friend is leaving at the end of this week. He's just home on leave from the Marines at the moment, and when he goes back, he's going to Iraq, and won't be home for up to a year. (I know, I know, our good friend is going to Iraq and I'm worried about a proposal. I'm a self-centered, selfish little girl. We're all entitled to a few of those.) And I just don't think Tony's ready to do it tomorrow.
I know he wants to. He even has specific plans, like wanting to call my parents and ask for permission and stuff. We talk about a lot when we're drunk. But if it doesn't happen tomorrow, I don't know if it will be out of laziness or forgetfulness or that he still has a little emotional trepidation. And I want to tell him how very important this is to me, how I've been waiting for this for almost a year now, ever since a few weeks in, when I realized that this was, in fact, that forever kinda love. I almost cried myself to sleep last night, so worried that I might not get what I want exactly when I want it.
But then again, I really don't want to mention, afraid that I'll ruin any surprise that might be left, or that he'll feel pressured, and that's the last thing I want.
I couldn't explain exactly why this is so important to me, but it really, really, really is. And no one has ever said I'm a patient girl, but I feel like I've been amazingly patient to this point.
You see, we've talked about this whole proposal thing, and the dorks we are, an important part is modeled after when Turk proposes to Carla on Scrubs, and JD runs around them cheering with sparklers. I really like this idea, because I like sparkley things. He's really into the idea of his best friend being a part of this by filling in the JD part. And I love his best friend as well, so that works for me.
But this is where our problem comes in. You see, his friend is leaving at the end of this week. He's just home on leave from the Marines at the moment, and when he goes back, he's going to Iraq, and won't be home for up to a year. (I know, I know, our good friend is going to Iraq and I'm worried about a proposal. I'm a self-centered, selfish little girl. We're all entitled to a few of those.) And I just don't think Tony's ready to do it tomorrow.
I know he wants to. He even has specific plans, like wanting to call my parents and ask for permission and stuff. We talk about a lot when we're drunk. But if it doesn't happen tomorrow, I don't know if it will be out of laziness or forgetfulness or that he still has a little emotional trepidation. And I want to tell him how very important this is to me, how I've been waiting for this for almost a year now, ever since a few weeks in, when I realized that this was, in fact, that forever kinda love. I almost cried myself to sleep last night, so worried that I might not get what I want exactly when I want it.
But then again, I really don't want to mention, afraid that I'll ruin any surprise that might be left, or that he'll feel pressured, and that's the last thing I want.
I couldn't explain exactly why this is so important to me, but it really, really, really is. And no one has ever said I'm a patient girl, but I feel like I've been amazingly patient to this point.
jmsilverwolf:
Hang in there darlin'. He'll ask. And you'll be overjoyed. Sparklers or no.