antipode3141592

these scars i cannot hide
so deep within my skin
still don't care what you did
i love you and all the pain

why can't i let go
find a way to carry on
forget these memories
and see through
your lies, your masks
your cruel deceptions

i must be strong
to rid myself
of the poison you are to me

spent so long trapped
in this sweet atrophy
all that i was
long leeched away

transformed, transmogrified
by this pain you gave to me
what remains is this
anger that's seething through me...



This is a portion of a new song that I am writing. I have all sorts of ideas, but not enough time to get them all put together. so much stupid, needless frustrations in my life... I never really understood the concept of loving and hating the same person until recently. My mother and I are having a sort of falling apart. I'm not the son that she wanted, and she's being a total bi-polar bitch about the whole thing. I wish I could understand her... I wish she could understand me. I guess I'm a hopeless dreamer that wants too many unrealistic things.
On the upside, I'm going to be going to a kick ass party the 19th at the Pink House to celebrate mistressmissy's birthday. And plus, I move back to Athens here in about three days. I want so much to leave. And recently, I've taken up running, which is a rather appropriate metaphor for my life...