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antipode3141592

Portland, OR

Member Since 2002

Followers 19 Following 58

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Thursday Sep 04, 2003

Sep 3, 2003
0
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these scars i cannot hide
so deep within my skin
still don't care what you did
i love you and all the pain

why can't i let go
find a way to carry on
forget these memories
and see through
your lies, your masks
your cruel deceptions

i must be strong
to rid myself
of the poison you are to me

spent so long trapped
in this sweet atrophy
all that i was
long leeched away

transformed, transmogrified
by this pain you gave to me
what remains is this
anger that's seething through me...



This is a portion of a new song that I am writing. I have all sorts of ideas, but not enough time to get them all put together. so much stupid, needless frustrations in my life... I never really understood the concept of loving and hating the same person until recently. My mother and I are having a sort of falling apart. I'm not the son that she wanted, and she's being a total bi-polar bitch about the whole thing. I wish I could understand her... I wish she could understand me. I guess I'm a hopeless dreamer that wants too many unrealistic things.
On the upside, I'm going to be going to a kick ass party the 19th at the Pink House to celebrate mistressmissy's birthday. And plus, I move back to Athens here in about three days. I want so much to leave. And recently, I've taken up running, which is a rather appropriate metaphor for my life...

More Blogs

  • 10.24.03
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    Saturday Oct 25, 2003

    well, it's 7am, and another sleepless night has come and gone... i h…
  • 10.23.03
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    Friday Oct 24, 2003

    i've no more tears to shed just hold me close hold me tight and so…
  • 10.20.03
    2

    Monday Oct 20, 2003

    wow... way too much sleep lately. *yawns* my friend kat got me a …
  • 10.16.03
    0

    Thursday Oct 16, 2003

    I got my fangies today! I'm so excited But I have an exam …
  • 10.13.03
    2

    Tuesday Oct 14, 2003

    it's 6am... and i'm still awake. more to the point, i'm doing homewo…
  • 10.07.03
    2

    Tuesday Oct 07, 2003

    *long journal entry ahead* if i could steal her away from him, i w…
  • 10.07.03
    1

    Tuesday Oct 07, 2003

    mmmm.... i like pasketti....
  • 10.05.03
    2

    Sunday Oct 05, 2003

    Right now I'm busy (well, obviously not THAT busy) studying for a mid…
  • 10.04.03
    3

    Saturday Oct 04, 2003

  • 10.01.03
    2

    Wednesday Oct 01, 2003

    can't you see my love for you? just go... leave me here, alone... …

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