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anticus

Member Since 2003

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Thursday Jan 15, 2009

Jan 15, 2009
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Dood! I so rarely update this. I would like to say that the LOLcats on icanhazcheesburger.com are especially funny today.

It was lovely seeing SG kin at the Roxymonensene's place last weekend.

I used to use this space to journal honestly, as there is more acceptance here than elsewhere on the intarnutz. Plus, only like 4 people read my journal. So, I am going to be doing this more often-like. That said, I am not looking for comments or readers, for that matter. This is just to get it out.

I have not been following the advice I give to others. It makes me quite the hypocrite. Or rather hipppcrite since some of it is health-related.

Lots of strange maladies these days. Often, my knee just plain won't allow me to put weight on my leg. This occurs when I am standing and attempting to move, just for that extra embarrassment factor. The past 3 days, I have awoken to the fingers on my right hand tightly clenched - and am not able to straighten my pinky until much later in the day. It is pretty tender. Also, I have become my grandmother in that I am discussing how my body isn't working.

For kicks, I filled out an eharmony profile, mostly to give me ideas for character traits, and at the end of it learned that there are only EIGHT women in the US who are compatible with me, and they are all over 50 years old. So, it's pretty much time for me to accept I am never going to have a family of my own.

Really, I have been at odds lately with the path I have chosen. And that's not healthy. I am not where I want to be right now - nor am I where I expected to be. How do I get there? How do I live the life I want to live? I don't know. If I did, I would be doing it.

I waste a lot of time, though. That's my biggest problem. That's what freaks me out as I am about to go to bed. Another day gone and what did I do? But I don't want to be that guy who wakes up and sprints toward a goal, never seeing the little things. I love the little things.

I told someone last night that I have lived a pretty damn good life. I feel love every day. I give love every day, even if I don't leave the apartment, if only through texts. And love is the only thing that matters.
mrs_misha:
it was good to see you last week.
and I know what you mean about discussing how your body isn't working.. I'm really feeling it these days
Jan 15, 2009

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