OK, so I'm Irish. The restaurant/bar I used to frequent is an Irish bar. I go there for some corned beef & cabbage. It's packed and I order the food to go. While I'm there, I have a good scotch to wait for the food.
Mistake.
Even one drink sets me off thinking about her. It doesn't help that she called Wednesday and I inadvertantly listented to the VM. She has something she "really wants to tell me." Bullshit surely, but her voice is like crack to me. It fucked my day up. I naturally didn't call her back and suffered. I woke up at 4AM angry as ass and for the first time channeled it into some writing.
But I know that tonight she is drunk and fucking someone. I can pretty much assume that any night of the year of course, but tonight I just couldn't stay out around drunk girls. It just taught me that I can't drink again - not even one - until I am completely 100% over her.
How pathetic is that? I can't even think about sex with someone else right now.
Earlier today, some girl walked past the Image Comics booth at Wizard during my signing shift and said "Smile." I fucking hate that. What's worse is that she's right and what I really fucking hate is that I don't love my life like that chick probably does. Is there some kind of life-hating gene that's passed down every generation or so?
So, it's party night. It's 8:15, I am at home in my pajamas and my plan is to watch an episode or two of Andromeda and hopefully be asleep by 10 and to not dream..
Just last week I was so good. Healing. Not thinking of her all the time. And when I did, I could refocus to something else. It's like she knows when she's slipping out of my mind.
I can't talk about this anymore tonight. I mean - I can, but I won't.
Mistake.
Even one drink sets me off thinking about her. It doesn't help that she called Wednesday and I inadvertantly listented to the VM. She has something she "really wants to tell me." Bullshit surely, but her voice is like crack to me. It fucked my day up. I naturally didn't call her back and suffered. I woke up at 4AM angry as ass and for the first time channeled it into some writing.
But I know that tonight she is drunk and fucking someone. I can pretty much assume that any night of the year of course, but tonight I just couldn't stay out around drunk girls. It just taught me that I can't drink again - not even one - until I am completely 100% over her.
How pathetic is that? I can't even think about sex with someone else right now.
Earlier today, some girl walked past the Image Comics booth at Wizard during my signing shift and said "Smile." I fucking hate that. What's worse is that she's right and what I really fucking hate is that I don't love my life like that chick probably does. Is there some kind of life-hating gene that's passed down every generation or so?
So, it's party night. It's 8:15, I am at home in my pajamas and my plan is to watch an episode or two of Andromeda and hopefully be asleep by 10 and to not dream..
Just last week I was so good. Healing. Not thinking of her all the time. And when I did, I could refocus to something else. It's like she knows when she's slipping out of my mind.
I can't talk about this anymore tonight. I mean - I can, but I won't.
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I was waiting on someone. They initially thought my mom was suffering congestive heart failure (doesn't sound pleasant), but "luckily" after running a billion tests it turned out to be a viral heart infection (it's strange the way luck is used in that context... like you could wake up in the morning and hope you're lucky enough to have a viral heart infection lol... however, compared to the alternates I suppose it's lucky indeed).
~Trilo~