Am very sad and weak today. Physically weak. Emotionally weak.
It's very difficult for me to maintain no contact with her. The neighborhood haunts me. My office haunts me. My apartment especially.
It would be so easy to just stop by her apartment. But for what? To hear her say that she made a mistake, wants to change and be with me? That's not going to happen.
She's desperately looking for a sugar daddy so she won't have to work and have the freedom to fuck all the men she wants.
I don't want to be in either of those.
I realize why I want to talk to her or see her now. Because I want to feel loved. But she can't do that.
I have to love myself. Or this will keep happening to me.
Let me end on something positive. This morning I had a long, great phone conversation with Danielle.
It's very difficult for me to maintain no contact with her. The neighborhood haunts me. My office haunts me. My apartment especially.
It would be so easy to just stop by her apartment. But for what? To hear her say that she made a mistake, wants to change and be with me? That's not going to happen.
She's desperately looking for a sugar daddy so she won't have to work and have the freedom to fuck all the men she wants.
I don't want to be in either of those.
I realize why I want to talk to her or see her now. Because I want to feel loved. But she can't do that.
I have to love myself. Or this will keep happening to me.
Let me end on something positive. This morning I had a long, great phone conversation with Danielle.
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And talking to your pal Danielle - which I know usually makes you happy - is a good development as well.
I was planning on going to the Unurban to see some comedy tonight. Do you wanna go, or just come over here and hang and chat?
Let me know. The shit is about to hit the fan and I won't have as much downtime in the very near future, so I hope we can chill soon.
I wish nothing but the best for you and your battered heart.