There is still too much photoshop in that. I think it's best that wen u submit a set you submit it raw then the SG photoshop elves can do it exactly how SG wants their photoshopping done. Look at more sets, A LOT more sets. Learn what's sexy/cute and what's not. Facial expressions and poses need to be practiced in front of a mirror, feel how your body looks so that when you do a shoot you know what feels right.
You've got to get in touch with an official photographer or you're just going to get repeated disappointment.