I learned something interesting in my abnormal psych text today: Did you know what Coca-Cola still has coca in it, except with the cocaine extracted? That just floors me. We can't grow fucking hemp, but every single can of Coke manufactured and sold in America has a little bit of the coca plant in it, the FUCKING COCAINE PLANT? That's crazy.
Wow. I sound like a hippie. Kill, kill. Die. Annihilate. Prepare for burnination.
Okay, now I don't sound like a hippie.
I'm practicing my supervillain language: CURSE YOU, DAYLIGHT SAVINGS! I spit upon your mother's grave for fucking with my sleep pattern! I do a Mexican hat dance on the grave of your dearly departed grandmother for screwing with my Circadian rhythyms! A pox upon ye! A pox! Wait, I think I'm getting Shakespearean foils mixed up with DC supervillains. Dang.
I mentioned this in Franchise's journal, but I've got dibs on Ultra-Humanite. S/he was the comics industry's first tranny character. I wouldn't want to be Ultra-Humanite in mutant flying ant form, though, because that's too much like Ant Man. And Ant Man is, like, the lamest comic book superhero EVER. I'd want to be Ultra-Humanite in Dolores Winter's body, so I could spurn Deathbolt's sexual advances. Mostly I'd just want to say, "My thoughts, my desires, my ambitions are still those of the middle-aged male scientist I feel myself to be." Those ambitions don't include fucking a man. But s/he never said s/he wouldn't fuck a lady! Yay! Though supervillains are usually asexual. Unless you're Lex Luthor on the WB's Smallville. Seriously, that guy could fuck a table, and it would be hot. He's so cute. Oooohhh. So cute. And he totally wants to fuck Clark Kent. He keeps looking at this package. And smirking at him. And eyefucking him.
AAAAGGGHHHH. My kitties are driving me insane. Downgraded? You can have Zowie. She does this little whining, squeaking mew -- it sounds like "me-eh-ehhhhh" -- and she asks me to follow her, and she turns around to make sure I'm following her, and I have to sit there with her while she eats her dry food. This happens every 15 minutes for a little while. And then the other one, Sam. He rolls in the dirt by the frangipani and bottlebrush trees out in the backyard. I have to buy these little "Kitty Quick Bath" towels. They're convenient, but... why does he roll in the dirt?? Whyyyy? Is he a pig? I just don't want him going on my new comforter. It was an extravagant splurge, but it's so pretty. It's by Calvin Klein. The print is called "celadon bramble." I love it.
When is my furniture coming? Hasn't it been 5 weeks? It was 5 to 8 weeks, right? I want my furniture!
Downgraded, I lied. You can't have Zowie, she is mine. She is sitting in my lap now, and she is purring. I had to type these sentences five different times, and it took about 10 minutes. It's hard to type with a little ball of wonderfulness in your lap. That sounds kind of dirty. Ewwww.
Okay, I'm going to watch Da Ali G show now. Represent, y'all!
Mew.
Wow. I sound like a hippie. Kill, kill. Die. Annihilate. Prepare for burnination.
Okay, now I don't sound like a hippie.
I'm practicing my supervillain language: CURSE YOU, DAYLIGHT SAVINGS! I spit upon your mother's grave for fucking with my sleep pattern! I do a Mexican hat dance on the grave of your dearly departed grandmother for screwing with my Circadian rhythyms! A pox upon ye! A pox! Wait, I think I'm getting Shakespearean foils mixed up with DC supervillains. Dang.
I mentioned this in Franchise's journal, but I've got dibs on Ultra-Humanite. S/he was the comics industry's first tranny character. I wouldn't want to be Ultra-Humanite in mutant flying ant form, though, because that's too much like Ant Man. And Ant Man is, like, the lamest comic book superhero EVER. I'd want to be Ultra-Humanite in Dolores Winter's body, so I could spurn Deathbolt's sexual advances. Mostly I'd just want to say, "My thoughts, my desires, my ambitions are still those of the middle-aged male scientist I feel myself to be." Those ambitions don't include fucking a man. But s/he never said s/he wouldn't fuck a lady! Yay! Though supervillains are usually asexual. Unless you're Lex Luthor on the WB's Smallville. Seriously, that guy could fuck a table, and it would be hot. He's so cute. Oooohhh. So cute. And he totally wants to fuck Clark Kent. He keeps looking at this package. And smirking at him. And eyefucking him.
AAAAGGGHHHH. My kitties are driving me insane. Downgraded? You can have Zowie. She does this little whining, squeaking mew -- it sounds like "me-eh-ehhhhh" -- and she asks me to follow her, and she turns around to make sure I'm following her, and I have to sit there with her while she eats her dry food. This happens every 15 minutes for a little while. And then the other one, Sam. He rolls in the dirt by the frangipani and bottlebrush trees out in the backyard. I have to buy these little "Kitty Quick Bath" towels. They're convenient, but... why does he roll in the dirt?? Whyyyy? Is he a pig? I just don't want him going on my new comforter. It was an extravagant splurge, but it's so pretty. It's by Calvin Klein. The print is called "celadon bramble." I love it.
When is my furniture coming? Hasn't it been 5 weeks? It was 5 to 8 weeks, right? I want my furniture!
Downgraded, I lied. You can't have Zowie, she is mine. She is sitting in my lap now, and she is purring. I had to type these sentences five different times, and it took about 10 minutes. It's hard to type with a little ball of wonderfulness in your lap. That sounds kind of dirty. Ewwww.
Okay, I'm going to watch Da Ali G show now. Represent, y'all!
Mew.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
i love that movie.
z-man is the sexiest hermaphrodite ever.