I hate mustard. I hate its taste, its color, and especially its smell. When I was little, and my family played board games together, I would always accuse Colonel Mustard of killing someone, and I was wrong every single time. But I hated mustard that much. I had to accuse him because of his association with mustard. You know, he's even the suckiest character in the movie version of the boardgame. It's true. Check it out:
Wadsworth : A double negative!
Colonel Mustard : Double negative? You mean you have photographs?
Wadsworth : That sounds like a confession to me. In fact the double negative has led to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.
Colonel Mustard : Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth : You don't need any help from me, sir.
Colonel Mustard : That's right!
Wadsworth is the best character, as I'm sure you all know. He buttles, sir. BUT I DON'T LIKE MUSTARD. I DON'T LIKE IT IN A BOAT, I DON'T LIKE IT WITH A GOAT. I DO NOT LIKE IT ON A FOX. I DO NOT LIKE IT IN A BOX. I'M NOT SHOUTING. ALL RIGHT, I AM. I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOUTING, I'M SHOUT... And that's when candlestick bonks me over head.
Okay, I'm going to go play some of that new Mortal Kombat game on my XBox. I will tell you this: Zombie Liu Kang is the most awesome thing ever. Also, it is INSANE. Konquest mode has every MK character ever. They even have Hsu Hao and Mo-Cap Guy wanders about jauntily. I smacked him. Because I don't cotton to jaunty walking, and you can interact with every character. And that means you can smack every character. Sometimes they get indignant, all, "I'm not telling you anymore information if you're going to treat me like that," and shit. Oh my god. Mileena's fatality is so gross, though. I love her. I love her... mouth. Ewww. Anyway, it's awesome. I like smacking people when they say, "I have no time to talk to you!" Ha ha ha, NOW YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUS. Surprisingly, the violence in MK does not bother me. Hitting old ladies in this game? Doesn't bother me. But... No. I don't like Grand Theft Auto. The commercials for the new one especially make me uncomfortable. Sorry, but it looks incredibly racist. Yikes.
Okay. I'm going to go kick Scorpion's ass so I can unlock Shujinko's fatalities and be done with Konquest mode. I will try to do it in less than an hour.
that should shut up em.
meanwhile. you've read Wise Blood which is why i'm speaking to you. after accidentally discovering it i'm convinced that those who've read it comprise a new form of social elite. a group which i should naturally serve as leader of... but that's neither here nor there.