anonymouse

I am a liberal according to this test. My favorite question was the baby-eating one. I still Affleck has the best baby-eating technique.

Okay, so today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I received yet another email from my university regarding the upcoming Presidential debate (which I didn't get tickets to, because I am an idjit who forgot to turn in her application essay, WHICH SHE WORKED REALLY HARD ON, THANK YOU -- also, hurricane scares happened, and I didn't have time to turn in the essay as I was busy putting up shutters, DICKSMACKS, okay??), and I scanned it very quickly as I am wont to do with all emails I receive from my school. I read that all students and faculty are to have their "Cane Cards" on them at all times starting Monday (today). I always have my student ID in my wallet, so this I moved on and scanned through the rest of the letter. Well. WELL. Apparently, we are to have our IDs around our necks on a lanyard, and I learned this because some shady Secret Service types pulled me aside and questioned me for TWENTY MINUTES. I would've shown them my Cane Card, but my wrists were bound in a plastic strip. I mean, COME ON. I was waiting for them to put me in Guantanamo Bay, but they released me once they verified that I was who I said I was because COME ON. Oh my god. I can't wait to see what it's like on Friday, with Bush there. I think I'll skip class that day, because I'll need a lot of luck in order to even GET to campus. It'll be a mess. They're shutting off roads and shutting down the Metrorail and the bus, and it sucks. Oh my god.

Fuck. I'm serious. I'm sure they have a containment area somewhere. PAY NO MIND TO THE GENTLEMEN GUARDING THE ENTRANCE WITH SEMIAUTOMATICS. THEY ARE THERE TO KEEP OTHERS OUT, NOT TO KEEP YOU IN. If they NYC cops were willing to arrest a bunch of bicyclists at Critical Mass, a group that included senior citizens and moms with their sixteen year old sons, in order to test out their mass-arrest system the day before the RNC, then I'm sure they'll have no trouble arresting a couple of students who don't have a lanyard. But, hey, I have a lanyard. It's a classy red and white Stella Artois lanyard. Woo. Go me. Oh my god. I'm just waiting for someone to ask me for my papers. "Can I see your papers? ARE YOU A JEW? ARE YOU A JEW LIBERAL? Excuse us, but you'll have to come with us. This might hurt a bit, as WE ARE GOING TO TATTOO YOUR STUDENT 'C' NUMBER ONTO YOUR ARM. And make sure to wear this patch identifying yourself as a liberal hippie at all times, or you will be executed. I mean, arrested."

Part of me is joking. Part of me is not.

Ugh. I think I'll watch the debate from the Rathskellar, the campus bar. I'll make up a little drinking game. Or something.