anonymouse

Edit: I changed my pic back to that old one. Weird floaty toaster head returns! My forehead isn't really that big. It's just the angle. I don't have a fivehead, and even if I do, which I don't, Johnny Depp's motherfucking wife has, like, a sixhead. So I think I'll do just fine.

Okay, when I bitch about my supposed fugliness in my profile picture? I'm talking about a different picture. So, yeah. Let the whinin' begin.


I just got a brand new LCD flatscreen monitor because my old one broke, and wow... My profile picture did not look that ugly on my old monitor... Did it? I can't even continue writing this entry without putting a post-it note over my face to conceal that fugliness.

...And it's concealed. Avert your eyes, y'all, for I am ugly and feeling sorry for myself. I half-assed my midterm paper for Myth and Religion. It really, really sucks. I don't even know what I'm talking about with regard to Hlderlin. Hlderlin? Hold the phone! No, that wouldn't even be funny if his name wasn't pronounced like Herder-Lynn. I don't speak English good no more. My brain done break. I suck. And I feel like I truly do suck. Why am I so stupid? I AM stupid. I can't even comprehend Hegel. I just don't understand half the shit in this class, and I feel all the more stupid and pathetic for it.

Why is it that I always start to fall apart when Spring Break arrives? I have things to read and an English midterm paper to write, and I have A's in my women writers lit and American history classes, and I barely have a B in my geology class because my professor is old and apparently going through chemo, but that's no excuse to suck as a teacher. He keeps repeating himself, and when the first test came up? He attempted to catch up and recover all of the material he hadn't gotten to in two classes, and he is NOT effective. He just rambles and rambles and rambles and rambles and rambles ON AND MOTHERFUCKING ON. And don't get me started on the tangents because that would be hypocritical of me to bitch someone out for tangential thinking. But tangents in stupid online journals? That's a whole 'nother kettle of fish. It's a horse of a different color when it comes to tangents in lectures. No, it's not even a horse of a different color, it's a different animal on another planet, and I'm mixing metaphors, but GODDAMN. His tangents don't go anywhere, and they last twenty to thirty minutes of a goddamn 50 minute class, and he starts class 5-10 minutes late, and he lets us out 5 minutes late, and he won't shut up about how much he wanted to be an astronaut, and he wasn't! And he was so close! He went to Princeton, and he had top secret clearance, but he was too goddamn fat! And he is so bitter, y'all. Why do I need to know that astronauts have trouble maintaining balance post-flight? Why do I need to know that for a geology class? God, I should just get an A for listening to this guy ramble on about his woes. I'll probably go to Hell for wishing that he would just succumb to cancer and die already. That way I could get a professor who doesn't suck.

I want a hysterectomy. I want the hormones to stop, I want the menstruation to stop, I want it over. I'm not having babies.

I'm going crazy, y'all.

I don't want to grow up. I don't want to graduate, I don't want to take the GRE, I don't want to apply to a million grad schools and not get accepted to any... This shit is scary. I don't want to drink liquor, I want to go back in time and just start over and not fuck up.

I think I worry too much. This journal entry is way too motherfucking self-indulgent... but isn't that the definition of an online-journal? A place to kvetch and bitch and other things that end in -ch? Yeah.

My head and back hurt. And I need to change my tampon.