anonymouse

My ranking of the Jones/Target Halloween sodas, from best to completely inedible:

1. Scary Berry Lemonade -- Delicious. I understand Matty X disagrees with me, but I think it tastes like a little slice of heaven. A lemony slice of berry delicious heaven. Hey, Badison Avenue! You guys should hire me to write this shit up for you.

2. Strawberry S'Lime - I think it's supposed to be pronounced as "slime," but I want to pronounce it in a not-very-posh British accent. 'S Lime. Loim. You get the idea. It's pretty tasty.

42. Caramel Apple - Oh my lord. When you take the first sip, you're thinking, "Okay, not bad. Appley." And then the sickeningly sweet caramel flavors roll over your palate, and your face screws up, and you may or may not spit it out. And ruin someone's shirt. Sorry! It's really not good. It's so not good that I could not consciably put it in third place. I didn't want you thinking it was actually good enough to warrant third place in any line-up ever. That can only mean that there's actually something worse.

1008^10. Candy Corn - Oh my god. Listen, I've had the Jones Gravy Soda and also the Green Bean Casserole, Mashed Potato, and Turkey and Gravy sodas, and this is WORSE. No, really. Carbonated GRAVY. And this is worse. Way worse. The smell hits you and might make you gag a bit. And if you're stupid enough, like I am, you will take a sip. And possibly vomit. It's indescribably bad.

I'm going to go have another Scary Berry Lemonade. That shit is good.