Wednesday Jun 18, 2003

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i need a massage so badly. i feel like the boy and i are running in circles, hes frustrated with himself (and me) but takes it out on me. its really hard for him to talk in any kind of constructive manner without blowing up first, which makes it hard for me to continue to listen. oi. i wonder sometimes if the reality of me...
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60ftqueenie:
kiss hey there!
mitten:
SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSHSHSHSHSHSH.

on the d.l. yo.

email me you silly woman.

Monday Jun 16, 2003

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im feeling so much better today. the boy fixed up my room and its looks very homey now which means i can happily nest away up here like a crane when i dont feel like dealing with the people our world outside. s finally moved out, unclear if its permanent, shes been so unhappy and frustrated, i hope she finds a nice new home and...
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anomaly11:
that would be awesome. but im not sure how vs would feel about it smile
mitten:
vs wouldn't even know what happened...

Saturday Jun 14, 2003

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i think i need a vacation from life.im wondering if there are any friends around that i could stay with for a week or so. last night was a friday the 13th past life party, i went as mata hari, though i was somewhat uncomfortable with the arrogance of that all night. wenley and dave were being very playful with each other, which was very...
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Wednesday Jun 11, 2003

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my body hurts. i was finally making some really good emotional progress with ben, he was starting to open up and i was feeling better and i wrote him a really long cathartic email and the fucking computer or yahoo or the connection or WHATEVER fucking ate it. i havent had the stomach to try to recreate it yet, and i know it wont be...
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fractal:
who-hoo I getz to be in your harem!!
and I tried calling you again...do you have a wierd guy on your vm?

I want to come back up there and play with you lady. Did you check http://theclandestino.com yet?
stormy:
oh my god! im one of your crushes?! this is me totally swooning *falls on the floor and sighs* looks like i might get to see you real soon if us portland girls make it down for the lovemakers music video.

Tuesday Jun 10, 2003

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hmm, i feel much better today. i got my period completely unexpectantly and ive noticed that since i stopped the pill i get really depressed for the two or three days before my period, so that makes sense. ive been emailing ben, and hes actually responding this time and its making me feel a little better as far as the closure thing goes.

the boy...
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fractal:
can I join your harem? That sounds like an ok deal...I think I have your cell # wrong, I tried calling it a few nights ago and I got a wierd voicemail.
noelani:
mmm...3 of my favorite foods, seriously. Yumm. I"d feed them off my bare body parts to you, however I'm not sure that I'm an intellectual freak wink I think this may be your shortest journal ever.

Monday Jun 09, 2003

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i wish my sister was here. im so used to her presence, loyalty, support, love, admiration, scolding, and accurate memories of all of my exploits. its not as interesting writing here as it is telling her about my life and getting the pretend-horrified response of "SISTER!"




another intense, insane confusing weekend. i dreamt last night about a tall castle like house, my housemates and i...
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anomaly11:
no shit. but its a hard line to gauge, especially when youre nervous about girls and the general atmosphere is insane hedonism to the extreme. this is something ive committed to working on, because its not good for me physically or mentally, at least not the way things are going now.
fractal:
You should write a memior and publish it. I would buy it.

Friday Jun 06, 2003

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yes, my journal entries are long. if you dont feel like reading something long, dont.


falling behind on my journal, falling behind on my life. everything feels amorphous, on the brink, clouded like water before the freeze. i found out the other day that i had met wenley at one of the earlier beach burns, the last one i attended with the troll, and i...
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historyteller:
I read them all .. but don't take that to mean I understand them. I'm not as passionate as you appear to be, closer to the stereotype GoatBoy without the material ambition.

biggrin
radiobastet:
Hi! I read the whole thing. Wow - thank you for being so open and intelligent. So many of the SG's - I mean, they're gorgeous and everything, but um - let's just say their grammar and syntax leave something to be desired? Not that there's anything morally wrong with that, but gee, let's raise the bar a little. biggrin

I love goats too. They certainly have gotten a bad rap with this satan nonsense.

I would not pose for a bad photographer, no matter how good the money was, if I were you. There has to be a good photographer out there somewhere who will pay you decently.

Have you checked out the Pagan Peeps group? Sounds to me like you might enjoy it... smile

Sunday Jun 01, 2003

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i'm begining to wonder if this mad spiral of events and activity will ever end. is it possible to die from too much fun, too many experiences, growing and learning and laughing too fast? last night was the first night in over a week that i didnt go to any events, we had tickets to a sex-oriented fetish party but with no easy transportation, and...
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timmy:
hey, I remember you. You're the one who took a swig of my white russian at the prom.
anomaly11:
yeah, that sounds like me wink

and unlike many other things about that night, i actually remember that.

Wednesday May 28, 2003

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there has been so much craziness, so much beautiful activity, so many emotional oscillations. im being haunted by ben, in my dreams, online, in my memories of the east coast and thinking about playa del fuego without me. its all so odd and leaves me with a dull ache, he never finishes our breif conversations, wont give me closure. is it so naive to continue...
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sugar24232:
wah! your eyes are so blue!! rawr!
noelani:
Why is it that I'm never taken out on your excersions wink
you always have such good journals. You should come out to Karaoke on Sunday. It's at the mint.

Thursday May 22, 2003

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first of all, if anyone ever gets the chance to see 'r. buckminster fuller; the history and mystery of the universe' i strongly urge you to go. its a one man play about buckey fuller and its fantastic. it re-validates many of the intuitive leaps ive gleaned from life recently and its simultaneously intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually stimulating in a beautifully convuluted yet sensical manner....
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anomaly11:
historyteller: this was the morning after a sublime night. its ok if she 'gets away' as long as she keeps coming back....
trilobyte:
It's nice to finally see someone else who had the slightest interest in the lunar eclipse. I love your description of it....

And it was wonderful meeting you last weekend.

skull trilo skull
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