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anomalisa

The Future

SG Since 2005

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Monday Dec 28, 2009

Dec 27, 2009
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I have had the flu for the past two days. My fever was up to 100.6 F yesterday night. Today it was 99.3 F. I was incredibly disappointed in the response from my "friends." I live alone so I have no one to take care of me. Poor me, right? Well, sick people do deserve some compassion in my opinion. I try to offer my help when someone is sick. I even offer strangers help and I will give the shirt off my back for someone who needs it. Well, only a few offered to help me. The ones I expected to help didn't make such an offer. The excuses offered to me were rather pathetic. A simple, "I'm sorry," would have been much more appreciated.

This experience has made me reconsider who I value as friends.

Tonight someone whom I barely know offered to buy me something to eat. He saw a passive-aggressive post I had on Facebook and took some pity on me. I've known this person for many years in a very superficial manner, but I've been meaning to get to know him better. Here was my chance.

He picked me up and took me to a diner down the street where we shared a late night meal. It was my first meal in two days. I simply ate grits and toast; my body couldn't handle anything more exotic. Our conversation drifted all over the place. He's a hardworking Red Carpet photographer who shoots fetish models on the side, so he and I know a lot of the same people and events.

We discussed what it meant to be friends. I grew up Mormon and was taught to take care of the sickly and less fortunate. He grew up Catholic and was taught the same values. I thought this was a universal value, but I am learning otherwise. We both agree that friends take care of each other when either is sick. We also discussed "friends" who are only friends because they want to fuck. I have way too many of these friends, and as I clean house I am going to eliminate them. Then there are the friends who are friends just so that they can be "seen." Screw these people. We discussed a couple of memorial services were people showed up mainly to get seen. Jesus, when people use the dead as a way to gain recognition what has the world come to?

I doubt I have more than 5 real friends in my life. I have hundreds of Facebook and Myspace friends, but most are worthless when push comes to shove. My lovers are worthless unless they are in my bed. It is so sad, but true.

I am so highly disappointed in people. I am going to use this weekend's experience to improve how I treat my friends so that I don't fall into the category of "bad friend." I hope I succeed.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
szglobal:
Oh, and on the flu front: I use a standard cocktail of high-dose vitamin C and zinc, an extra multivitamin, echinacea (double the USRDA dosage, double the frequency) and black tea.
Dec 28, 2009
brave1:
get well soon !
Dec 28, 2009

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